I guess things had gotten just a little too nice in Biggest Loser land. Ever since Melissa and Miggy’s ousters, we had been treated to episodes that made us laugh, cry, and revel in the two hours of warm fuzzies we digested every Tuesday night. Mmm… warm fuzzies…
Of course, this had to change. After all, we’re talking about reality television here. What would The Apprentice have been without Omarosa? What would Survivor have been without Richard Hatch? And what would Big Brother have been without the Chenbot? (Yes, I understand that Julie Chen is the host of the show, and not a competitor. But you try to convince me that she is not really an evil robot hardwired to conquer mankind as soon as she utters her 1,000th ”but first…” Reality television needs its villains. Who wants to watch a cast of superdy-duper nice people achieve incredible things?
Well, me, for one. Which is why I was a bit disappointed with this week’s turn of events. I understand Biggest Loser is all for shaking things up. But come on. Did we really need to see the return of a maligned contestant this season? Let’s start at the beginning: Following Lance’s ouster, Ali had plenty of news to share with the contestants. First order of business: The cast would be competing as individuals from here on out, wearing their original colors. (Why Drea chose to put her new black tee over her old black tee is beyond me. Good tactic for strip poker, but not-so-good tactic for working out in sunny, hot California.)
But wait, there’s more! Not only would the remaining contestants get the chance to bag the $250,000 prize, but also, an eliminated contestant would get the chance to compete back on the ranch! Suddenly, a door opened up Let’s Make a Deal-style to reveal 12 of the 13 eliminated contestants. (Migdalia opted to stay home since her hubby had just been deployed.) And all of them looked like they had just sat through The Bounty Hunter. (Or, they were just donning their mean-looking game faces. Whatever.)
Rather than bringing a contestant back to the ranch based on their weigh-ins, this season, a contestant would return based on popular vote. Melissa, suffering from a sudden bout of voice immodulation, yelled at an inappropriate volume, ”Gosh, that’s CRAZY!” and immediately began to plot how she would convince others that she wasn’t a threat, and therefore deserved a second chance.
Though the weigh-in didn’t determine the outcome, Biggest Loser loves its scales, and decided to ask the contestants to step on up. Also, after standing on the scale, they would have to make their impassioned pleas to the cast.
Darrell: Was: 413 pounds. Current weight: 309 pounds. Total weight loss: 104 pounds.
Sherry: Was: 218 pounds. Current weight: 156 pounds. Total weight loss: 62 pounds.
Miggy: 240 pounds. Current weight 191 pounds. Total weight loss: 49 pounds.
Victoria: Was: 358 pounds Current weight: 285 pounds. Total weight loss: 73 pounds.
Melissa: Was: 233 pounds. Current weight 182 pounds. Total weight loss: 51 pounds.
Lance: Was: 365 pounds. Current weight: 274 pounds. Total weight loss: 91 pounds.
Cheryl: Was: 227 pounds. Current weight: 176 pounds. Total weight loss: 51 pounds.
John: Was: 484 pounds. Current weight: 399 pounds. Total weight loss: 85 pounds.
Patti: Was: 243 pounds. Current weight: 197 pounds. Total weight loss: 46 pounds.
Maria: Was: 281 pounds. Current weight: 224 pounds. Total weight loss: 57 pounds.
James: Was: 485 pounds. Current weight: 413 pounds. Total weight loss: 72 pounds.
Cherita: Was: 277 pounds. Current weight: 230. Total weight loss: 47 pounds.
NEXT: The cast takes the high road