Ding dong, the dick is dead. America’s most fatiguing case of fatigues has officially vacated the Big Brother house after one very long week of grumpy frowns, Ramses quasi-catastrophes, and toad-based cuddling between this season’s problematic power couple.
Heading into Thursday night’s episode, you would not be wrong to feel as if Cody has been terrorizing the house for months. Yet it’s only been weeks — WEEKS! — since he beat his chest with the primitive fury of privilege and decided that he was king of a castle that wanted nothing to do with him.
Usually, in a situation where an eviction is wholly predictable, the powers that BB would offer some light editing distraction to make it look like anything else might happen besides the one thing we all knew was going to happen. That doesn’t happen this week for two reasons. One, there was absolutely no way Cody’s eviction this week wasn’t going to be as inevitable as getting that one strand of spaghetti in a restaurant pasta dish. But two, and more importantly: Cody would probably never be caught on camera trying to seek the help of others and rally anyone in the game to his cause. He’s a guy who segregates alphas from betas and has probably never met a non-straight white male he considers remotely equal to him, so his purgatory period is childish and arrogant while he waits to hop out of the house.
To this episode’s credit, there was still some surprising juice to be squeezed, considering the outcome was so inevitable. The big unpredictability comes when Christmas announces that she has to have foot surgery and can either stay in the house to recover, or go home. She decides that she’ll fight through the recovery in the house, with no challenge rules changed to accommodate her. She gets emotional, and everyone sympathizes with her bold decision. Except Cody. “That’s not perseverance to me,” he grumbles about a woman fighting through an injury and not giving up. Yeah, no, totally not the definition of perseverance at all.
Jessica, at least, recognizes the value in being good to Christmas and approaches her to try to mend fences and save herself next week. She might as well use Scotch tape for how terribly she salvages the broken situation; it doesn’t help that Christmas, who is perfectly within her right to be vindictive, doesn’t even remotely try to bend over for her. Later, Cody approaches Christmas, hoping to set up Jessica for better success next week (the first good thing he’s ever done!?) by blaming his decision to nominate her on Mark and Dominique (oops, never mind).
Christmas doesn’t buy it, so Cody uses Dominique’s wildly awkward faux talk show to reveal this same suspicion of collusion to the better part of the house; he doesn’t reveal names but does try to embed that same doubt that there are other, equally shady people lurking. Mark takes offense and pushes back, and despite the episode’s edit, I’m fairly confident that everyone can see through Cody’s obvious lie, simply because no one has shown themselves to be nearly as deluded as he is (aside from Josh, who doesn’t really count because I’m pretty sure the inner workings of his mind literally operate like the little girl in Inside Out).
At the moment of elimination, Kevin and Christmas inexplicably vote for Ramses (perhaps so that Christmas can use that intel later to work Jessica?) while the rest of the players cast their votes for Cody. And with that, one of the worst players in Big Brother history, simply by the ratio of overall awfulness to time spent in the house, is evicted. Of course, Julie has revealed the horror of a Battle Back Showdown that will pit Cody against Cameron and Jillian in a bid to get back in the house next week. The idea of a Cody return is so nauseating, I can’t even entertain it as a reality, so instead, I will just say this:
Bye, Cody. You’re a beta and we all hate you.