Category Four, Freakazoids, Big Sister, Team Unicorn, Spy Girls, Eight Pack. So many teams, so many alliances. Who can keep track? Not Jozea. No point. Doesn’t need to. Jozea is in charge. Jozea runs this house. Jozea is the house. Jozea is all, all is Jozea. “Who rules the majority?” Jozea asks Jozea. “Me,” responds Jozea.
Nothing gets past Jozea. How could it? There is nothing besides Jozea; there is no thing but Jozea. As the house recovers from the shock of the Roadkill nominee – Paul! – Jozea isn’t recovering; he feels no shock. “It was Michelle,” he says, no doubt in his mind. “Definitely Michelle,” he repeats. “Michelle nominated Paul,” he insists, to a room full of people who know all too well that Michelle didn’t nominate Paul. “Don’t make a bold move if you can’t handle the pressure,” says Jozea, to a room full of people who are making a bold move and feel no pressure from it.
There’s a specal place in the dark shadows of Big Brother history for the supernova personalities. They shine too bright, too early. Maybe they implode, banished into the shadowlands outside the jury house, never to be heard from again. Maybe they explode, take somebody down with them, and make just enough of an impression to get a Big Brother producer considering them for a return trip. (See: Da’Vonne, turning a few weeks in Big Brother 17 into a starring role in Big Brother 18.)
Jozea is exploding, all right, but not in the way he might like to be. At the Veto competition, Paul the Beard wins, removing himself from the block. For some reason, this convinces Jozea of the rightness of his crusade. He’s still in danger — but he’s already taking a victory lap. Here, now, is just a sample of Jozea’s greatest lines from what looks like his last ride:
“I’m an observer.”
“I’m CEO, in my mind.”
“I feel like I’m the Messiah.”
“We are all sisters and brothers.”
“I’m preaching like Obama.”
“I’m only one brain.”
All so true. Witness, my brethren: He is the Messiah CEO Obama, the one-brained scenario observer, brother to all, preacher of truth.
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Does he have a chance? Can he survive this week? No, you think, impossible. He declares war on the returning players, and then considers welcoming Frank into his alliance. He calls a very public “private” house meeting — attended by James, who secretly spies on the meeting by walking in and asking “Hey, what’s this meeting about?” The point of the meeting is to declare war on Paulie — a fact everyone knows, even Paulie — but when Paulie challenges Jozea about it, the Messiah CEO clams up, promising the only thing discussed was peace and love.
No way Jozea can survive this week. Right? Well… there’s a shot.
NEXT: The Spy Girl Who Came in From the Cold