It’s Big Brother‘s golden episode—episode 17 in season 17—so why shouldn’t it be a Very Special Episode in the BB house? Filled with tears and tragedy, we’ve got all the makings of an after school special this week, with backstabby gossip, ruined friendships, general despondence from a supermarket cashier, a preppy attractive couple nobody likes, and a sad Meg, all of which are really the only ingredients you need for a good teen drama. Also, twins! Official twins!
The fourth biggest news this week is Julia and Liz finally separating their Wonder Twin rings and de-blobbing into two husky-voiced amoebae (although one is just a little blobbier, as we’re so often reminded). The third biggest story is Jason’s eviction. The second is Julie’s big announcement: there’s no more Battle of the Block! From here on out, we’ve got one HOH each week and two nominees, which is essentially a #throwbackthursday if I’ve ever heard it. (Are you excited by this? Upset? Hugely ambivalent?)
But no news item this week takes precedence over DOCTOR MAC’S BACKSTORY. He cleans a mean tooth! He eats too much candy! He’s cut a cadaver head in half! His brother is a future BB heartthrob! Johnny Mac is the only delight left in this house, and his family history is cut far too short because it’s an elimination night and that means we must focus instead on the aftermath of Vanessa’s blindside and the series of struggles and sad emoji faces that lead up to Jason’s exit from the house.
Austin somehow managed to convince the Sixth Sense to stay strong and got Vanessa to put up Jason, essentially dumping a bucket of pig’s blood on her hands despite claiming all season long that she wanted to keep her conscience clean. Yet here she’s gone from zero to Carrie in one foul move. Was it the right move? For Austin and Jiz, sure, because they don’t know any better, and for Vanessa, maybe, because she can spin better than Susan Sarandon at SoulCycle, but it’s the wrong move for Shelli and Clay—nay, the wrong “look,” as BB17’s resident Gretchen Wieners says—since the power couple believe they’re the first targets under the newly drawn battle lines.
On team Dark Moon (which totally wasn’t an omen for the doomed alliance, right?), Meg is taking the betrayal the hardest. Stop putting up her peeps! She’s legitimately furious, partly because Jason is her best friend and partly because this doesn’t bode well for her future here—although neither does the complete lack of gameplay she’s been demonstrating, to be honest. And so Meg stomps around the house in her flower crown, crying into shoulders and demanding answers.
Meanwhile, the actual people on the block are pretty low-key about their survival odds: Becky decides she’s going to lay low, much like Peeta resigns himself to doing face-paint, while Jason reluctantly fights forward, much like Katniss when she’s, like, katnissing. Of all the people, it’s Jackie—sweet, quiet, friendly ghost Jackie—who proposes that they form a new alliance. They decide to bring in Clelli, who are already paranoid as is, and Jason plays with their perfectly chiseled emotions to lure them over to the new group. But does it work?
No, it doesn’t. Resident REI and Jansport enthusiast Becky stays, thanks to support from folks like John, Jackie, and utter enigma Steve, and so Jason tearfully must bid farewell to his flower queen Meg. He calls Shelli “evil personified” and then leaves to go play Super Smash with Da’Vonne (he’s always Yoshi, she’s always Zelda but plays as Sheik).
Lo, and Julia enters the house, and she does a weird round of hugs where you can just tell that nobody’s really sure which one they were ever talking to. Did Steve admit he banged a cantaloupe to Julia, or Liz? Who has Jackie been sharing capri pants with? And you can almost see the threesome dream playing on loop in Clay’s head (which is always buffering).
In the final minutes of the episode, the HOH competition has not yet been won—nobody’s even in the lead and I’m genuinely not even sure anyone will actually win.