Have I finally developed reality television related dementia, or did we just witness the triumph of the human spirit against its oppressors? Okay, maybe that wasn’t exactly what this was. But Shelly, along with Kate Ward and all of America, knew what she was facing tonight. She knew that the iron-clad Rachel and Jordan alliance would most likely choose to evict her. She knew that she would probably find herself face-to-face with Jeff in the jury house, finally reaping the disastrous consequences of her dastardly deed. But did Shelly pull an Adam and throw her hands in the air all willy-nilly, saying nothing more than a casual, “Hey guys, it’s been fun, evict me if you want?”
The answer to that question is a definitive no. That is not what Shelly did. In fact, Shelly quite literally begged. Shelly risked public mockery when she consulted a plastic fortune teller, bartered her goods, and promised thrown Head of Household challenges to Rachel and Jordan. Did it get her anywhere? Of course not. She was doomed the second Rachel won that veto challenge, because no one was going to break up Jordan and Jeff and live to tell the tale. But in a season filled with floaters, you have to give the lady some credit for her attempt at gameplay. There is money on the line, and gosh darnit, she’s a mother!
When the cameras panned to Shelly and Adam as they faced eviction, it became instantly clear that Adam knew he would live to see another day. Shelly was tense and nervous, while the habitual floater wore a smile so big you would have thought he’d actually won a challenge or something. Rachel just sat there and haughtily rolled her eyes like my 14-year-old cousin does at family functions when she is forced to interact with people. Chenbot reminded us that Rachel and Jordan were the Axis powers in the house. While Porsche bemoaned Shelly’s unfortunate predicament, Rachel proved herself to be a creature void of empathy when she cackled and said, “I cannot wait to see Shelly grovel at my feet.”
NEXT: Give me a quarter. I’ll tell you your fortune.