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Big Brother recap: Words Cause Permanent Damage

Jen and Parker are evicted because she said too much about herself and Ryan; plus, Joshuah and Chelsia verbally abuse Amanda

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Big Brother

TV Show
Reality TV
Julie Chen
Current Status:
In Season

I kind of dug how Parker looked peeved at the end.

Not that I mean to take anything away from his rage. Parker earned the right to pout and stew on Julie’s eviction couch, especially when insipid little twits like Natalie and Adam were still sitting pretty inside the Big Brother house (and no, I didn’t accidentally forget to include Amanda, but more on her later). Still, Parker’s priceless reaction — along with his loss of control after being stuck with an airhead like Jen — has made this couples twist one of the best in BB history. Yep, I actually just endorsed the notion of forcing an intolerant buffoon like Adam to team up with an impatient cougar like Sheila, and evicting an appealing dude like Parker as part of the price of losing a twerp like Jen.

No, I don’t really expect you to agree. I already feel like I’m in the minority when I try to compliment this latest edition; even fellow EW staffers who live and die by this show are ready to throw up their hands and hold out for the summer edition (as if the dog days of July will actually produce a more palatable group of narcissists, but whatevs). ”I hate these people,” whined one of my colleagues. ”Every season they’re pinheads, but at least they’re interesting pinheads. It feels like they cast this one by hanging out at a Boston mall for an afternoon and pulling people out of Spencer Gifts.”

Ratings aren’t bad, but they aren’t exactly smokin’ (it doesn’t help that BB has to go against American Idol): The show is averaging around 6 million viewers and actually dropped to 5.4 million on Feb. 19. Basically, that’s on par with the summer but not the kind of ratings a network dreams about during the traditional September-to-May season. Too bad, because I’d hate to see CBS get impatient with the so-so performance and stage a triple-elimination week so they can get back to originals of Shark by late March. I want to see what happens now that Allison’s alone with Ryan. I want to see Amanda get out of the hole she dug for herself by spreading gossip she couldn’t substantiate.

Ah, Amanda. I don’t know why I’ve warmed to this seemingly harmless helium breather, but I can’t take my eyes off of her. (Or maybe I just can’t stop staring at her ridiculously muscular butt. Does that girl eat, sleep, and work in a perpetual squat position?) Maybe it’s because she candidly admitted that her dad committed suicide. Or maybe she garnered my sympathy after Alex called her a slut simply because his affection for her was unrequited. Whatever the reason, I found myself feeling sorry for Amanda when Chelsia and Joshuah lit into her last night, even though I wasn’t particularly offended when he made a comment about her daddy’s cause of death. It’s gonna take a helluva lot more than tasteless suicide jokes before anyone comes remotely close to sounding like that Dick from BB8. Even Amanda seemed more troubled by Joshuah’s comment about her resembling the likes of Barbaro than by his thoughtless swipe about her pa.

NEXT: Secrets and lies