What follows is an exciting excerpt from Beast Mode Cowboy and Kid Travolta: Conversations Between Caleb and Cody, an upcoming graphic memoir from Big Brother publishing:
Two serious questions: Is Caleb the stupidest man alive? Or has he modeled a remarkably effective new Big Brother strategy? There are five players left inside of the Big Brother house. One of them is a fairy princess from Neptune, but three of them are savvy players who have recognize that—in order to play Big Brother effectively—you need to play at least three different levels of Big Brother gamesmanship. Frankie started off as a social-game fiend, creating the Season of Hugging and essentially establishing himself as the house’s reigning socialite—but he also plays a shockingly ruthless behind-closed-doors game and isn’t shy about announcing big moves. (Remember: He didn’t just put Zach up on the block, he made a poem about it.) Cody embedded himself within a few different alliance cocoons and probably would have launched an all-out assault on close ally Frankie… if not for Derrick, who has turned this season of Big Brother into the first-ever recorded game of five-dimensional chess.
But then there’s Caleb. He performs decently well in competitions, although he’s hardly the comp kingpin that the Beast Mode namesake would imply. He made an alliance on Day 2 and stuck with it. He doesn’t realize that the Bomb Squad morphed into the Detonators–a quiet intra-alliance revolution that originally started because everyone thought Caleb was insane–but weirdly, his resolute loyalty to the Bomb Squad wound up working out just fine for him. (Being on the Detonators didn’t help Christine.)
If you set aside the endlessly disturbing stalking of Amber, the most memorable Caleb moment of the season came during the Battle of the Block when he refused to help Frankie. That moment plays out even more intriguingly in hindsight, now that #Fraleb are having playful dance parties up in the HoH throne room while the Hit Men scramble for some footing. Caleb is one of the great Frontstabbers in Big Brother history: He’s the guy who tells people things to their face. It’s hard to see how he could win this thing, but he’s left his mark on the house. (If Frankie strikes against the Hit Men, it’ll be because Caleb confessed the Backdoor Frankie plan.)
“It takes a lot of skill and composure to make it to the final five,” said Victoria.
“I played an amazing social game,” said Victoria.
“I like to think of myself as a competition princess,” said Victoria.
“Derrick and I have strategized our way through this house,” said Victoria. “Every superhero needs a sidekick. Derrick, you’re the Robin to my Batman.”
Victoria swore that she would reward Derrick’s loyalty. Then she spent the rest of the day napping in the sunniest corner of the Big Brother yard, and she dreamed that Duke Froggington and his Airdrop Squadron flew down to pick her up on their giant winged attack-turtles and carried her away to a castle beyond the furthest rainbow, where they say the stars fall like raindrops and the raindrops taste like saltines. When Victoria awoke, two whole days had gone past. “What a wonderful dream!” she said… before discovering that she still wore Duke Froggington’s Ring Pop on her left thumb.
Everyone is going crazy over the Gold Button. The theories are running wild. Cody thinks they might get sprayed with $100 bills. Derrick had a more sober assessment: “It’s gonna help somebody, and hurt somebody else.”
It’s still not quite clear to me how the #BBRewind twist is going to work out—will they replay the whole week in a single night, double-eviction style? Or is this entire week really a wash? No one has made any regrettable moves this week; Frankie has remained remarkably focused on taking out Victoria. The fact that Victoria will survive a little while longer is good news for fans of lithium absurdity, but it’s hard to imagine she’ll suddenly discover the strength to become Head of Household. But what if #BBRewind twist winds up giving Cody the Head of Household challenge? Or what if Caleb wins, and follows through on the threat to eliminate Frankie? This is one of the few weeks of the summer when things haven’t gone Derrick’s way–and coincidentally, it’s the one week of the summer when nothing that happens will actually matter.
Also, Caleb and Cody spent most of the afternoon “judy-chopping” the button. “Judy chopping”: Like Judo Chopping, but without any force, and the only person who gets hurt is the person doing the chopping.
NEXT: The Case For Frankie