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'Big Brother' recap: Mystery dissolved

The household Saboteur is revealed — just in time to be evicted

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Big Brother | TOMORROW, TOMORROW Adios, Annie!
Sonja Flemmimg/CBS

Big Brother

type:
TV Show
genre:
Reality TV
performer:
Julie Chen
broadcaster:
CBS
seasons:
19
Current Status:
In Season
tvpgr:
TV-14

There are a few things in that have happened in the course of Big Brother history that the fan masses (a term used inclusively) can agree upon. (1) The All-Stars season was pretty awesome. (2) ”Chilltown” is possibly one of the coolest alliance names the show has ever seen. (3) ”The Brigade” is one of the worst. And now (4) The saboteur exited far too soon.

But to properly record where Annie (yes, shocker!) went wrong, we must start back at the beginning of the episode because she screwed the pooch right away.

As you probably recall, Annie was put on the chopping block by HAYDEN (yes, HAYDEN, the screamer) after Brendon used the power of veto on [dramatic pause] himseeeeellllllf.

After finding out her neck was on the line, Annie did what any grown woman (of 13 years old) would do and stomped, pouted, whined, blamed another girl for her situation, and even served herself some ice cream.

Brendon attempted to console her and — dare I say — trotted into flirting territory after Annie’s very public display of dissatisfaction put his own reputation on the line. (Maybe Annie’s post-eviction claim that Brendon was her ”sloppy seconds” wasn’t a stretch?)

He wiped her tears, gave her hug, and told her this was hurting him as much as it was hurting her. Oh, Brendon, you’re such a great bff. I’m sure you two will be best girl friends forever. Sisters? Sisters.

Ugh.

To follow up on his girl moment, Brendon left to go get in touch with his man side by making out with Rachel. But then screwed that up by talking about Annie and effectively killing the mood (”I’m sorry; it’s just my feelings were hurt,” Brendon lamented to Rachel.). ”Why are you getting upset about some girl you met eight days ago that is trying to come in between you and something that is real?” Rachel asked him after the sexy makeout session turned into the last scene of an episode of Full House.

Uhm, Rach, exactly which girl are you in that little spiel of yours? Money = very real.

But in all seriousness, what’s the deal with Brendon? Is he really fraying this early? Is he PMSing? Or is it all an act? That whole ”I’m not cut out for this” line kind of had me worried that the guy everyone thinks is the one to beat is not that strong of a player after all. Of course, I could be wrong. I’ve been known to be swayed by a pretty face (and in this case, a pretty everything else, too. Rar.).

Next: Wait, there’s a Kristen? {C}

Meanwhile, at the Brigade (which is these days is looking more like the ”Upright Citizens” variety), Enzo continued praising his perceived triumphs (”Nothing beats the Brigade!” Hoorah!). Someone get this guy a pom-pom before he starts doing a flying V and quacking. Or would it be meowing in his case??

Then, after a week-long build up, we had the big reveal of the Sabo’s identity. America, your guess was Kathy, according to Julie Chen. A sensible choice that you probably based on her performance in the first batch of challenges. It was wrong, obviously. I guess that means she really does just suck that bad at competitions. Yikes.

Alas, it was Annie. Like I said in my insta-reaction, she would not have been my first suspect. Rather than looking for signs and strange behavior (because let’s be honest, everyone in this house is a little strange), I was looking at strategy. I figured anyone who only had to make it as far as the fifth week would try to fly under the radar when they weren’t pulling pranks. And Kristen — take a minute to Google her or search your DVR for a 5-second flash of her face — was basically M.I.A. in every episode. For a while, I pondered the possibility that she was merely the ghost of Alison, circa season 4, and she was summoned to the household by one of the houseguests, who was actually a witch. Then, I realized I need to stop watching Buffy marathons on Logo after Big Brother airs.

At any rate, that would have been my Saboteur strategy: lay low. I supposed it is still a good one, but not all that entertaining to watch. I don’t care if she’s not the Saboteur, I feel like we should get to vote and make her do something. Doesn’t have to be a prank. Can’t we just feed her lines to make her interesting? I shouldn’t be dwelling, but there were 13 spots. Shouldn’t they have used them wisely?

What was entertaining was seeing how Annie pulled off pranks on the houseguests. I didn’t remember seeing her bump into Andrew when he was acting like a weirdo when the lights went out. Because then it would have been a little bit more obvious that she was the culprit. Was it cut out or did I miss something? Both are possibilities. She also planted noise devices in every room with the goal of irritating her fellow houseguests during the night. This did not please Meow, Meow, who likes nine-hour cat naps.

Next: Just like Jeff and Jordan. {C}

Ragan, on the other hand, didn’t complain about the nuisance but instead started counting the beats of the noises, thinking it might be part of a competition. Though it amounted to nothing, it showed he’s always thinking about the game. And I liked that he was the only one who suspected Annie to be the Saboteur.

For those reasons, he’s one of my early favorites, behind only Brendon. Ragan might even bump Brendon down to second place if Coach can’t control his emotions and continues eating his sandwiches with the same vigor he usually reserves only for sucking Rachel’s face. (Please tell me someone else saw that?).

[BREAKING: We interrupt this recap for a house wardrobe update. Rachel, Big Brother is getting tired of using all of their censoring blurs on you. Please start wearing bathing suits that can handle the job, particularly when you plan on getting up from chairs quickly. And, Kathy, your ”Rub for Good Luck” shirt made me uncomfortable. Thanks.]

Speaking of Rachel, at no point did she seem too worried to be on the block. And apparently, she wasn’t worried for a reason. Annie did a good job of alienating herself and a poor job at trying to backtrack. The houseguests saw her ugly side. Even her best damage control (like revealing that Brendon wasn’t telling the whole truth about his occupation and trying to convince everyone to squash his alliance with Rachel quickly by comparing it to Season 11’s Jeff and Jordan) was not enough to earn back their support.

Shortly before the voting, Annie (as Saboteur), made a last-ditch effort to throw off her fellow houseguests by delivering a mysterious message that claimed the Sabo had escaped the block. LIES! The look on HAYDEN’s face was priceless. Slack-jawed and dumbfounded. But that could be the way he always looks?

Still, the stunt did nothing. And in the end, everyone voted to evict Annie and her unflattering dress. Britney also had some fashion comments for Annie in her goodbye message, but hers bordered on (if not totally crossing into) catty. If two biggest issues you had with a person were about their eye shadow and shoes, it really shows what little attention you’re paying to the actual game. Good luck with that, Brit Brit.

Next: HOH {C}

After we bid adieu to Annie, the houseguests prepped for the HOH competition, a good ole game of Majority Rules. You know the drill: Chenbot asks the question and the houseguests answer with what they think the others would vote.

This really isn’t the most thrilling competition ever. It never has been — but then again, there are few games that can top the entertainment value of mayo pinatas or giant plastic wieners. There’s a whole season ahead of us, they have to save some tricks, I suppose.

The best part of this game is noting when houseguests vote for themselves, like Rachel thinking everyone would vote her as most likely to win the Miss Big Brother Bikini competition. And for the record, I’d sooner watch Kathy’s life story on the big screen, I’d NEVER let Lane prepare my parachute before jumping out of a plane, and I’m with the houseguests when they said they would sooner cheat off of Ragan on a test.

I still dispute Matt’s genius claim. I’d expect a genius to note the social disservice he’s causing himself by talking like a disc jockey all the time.

In the tie breaker round against Monet and Britney, Rachel’s experience with volume came in handy (I’m totally talking about her experience with math and science) when she was able to most closely predict the amount of caramel that was in the pool during this week’s competition. And with a final female Pee-Wee Herman laugh to haunt my subconscious the rest of the weekend and a hug from Brendon, she claimed her HOH prize.

Well, that’s my take. What about you, readers? What did you think of Big Brother this week? Did the vote shock you? Do you miss Annie? Are you going to miss the Saboteur aspect of this season’s Big Brother? Weigh in below and be sure to check out Julie Chen’s blog.