”Big Brother” recap: Backdoors and backstabbing
Sheila — you got me trippin’, woman. Though you didn’t exactly bring it home last night on Big Brother by persuading James to evict Ryan instead of Matt, you’ve become a formidable opponent thanks to your impressive ability to talk almost anybody into almost anything. Could it be because you’re over the age of 21? For the love of BB4‘s Jack, could another mid-lifer like that Dick from BB8 be on her way to win the cash prize? You’re not getting any argument from this boomer, who grew tired of BB‘s Generation Xers the minute Lisa beat out the far more deserving Danielle in season 3. I readily admit that Sheila can be her own worst enemy. Her tears are friggin’ tedious and her apology to Adam in Tuesday’s telecast for being such a bitch to him was as disingenuous as it was transparent; girlfriend was on the block, after all, so she needed all the help she could get. But Sheila demonstrated that she could be a good sport when the houseguests woke her up for that faux veto competition, and she managed to score some brownie points with James by openly admitting that she was one of the three who had previously wanted him out. Ultimately, it was Sharon who delivered the final nail in Matt’s coffin last night by exposing his treachery (i.e., he was responsible for the mysterious third vote) to James — so I’m kinda digging on her right now, too. But for two weeks running, Sheila’s managed to gain some serious influence in the house simply by using her power of persuasion, which is why she has moved to the top of my list.
But she’ll sure as hell plummet to the bottom if she so much as makes Bambi eyes at that Dick from BB8 when he appears on the show this Sunday. Really? Are ratings so bad that CBS has to throw a Hail Mary like this by returning that Dick to the house? I’m all for reunion footage that shows him and his oh-so-sassy Danielle looking fondly over vacay pics. But nothing reveals a lack of confidence in the current edition more than trotting out the yahoos from seasons past to participate in house activities. Lock the outside doors, producers, and give the current HGs a chance! I think they’ll do you proud.
So I finally figured out who Natalie looks like. Check out our recent photo gallery on EW.com titled ”21 Horrible Sci-Fi Futures.” She’s the spittin’ image of Malcolm McDowell, circa 1971, right? I’m hoping her current image will improve considerably now that her unrequited crush has finally left the building on a 4-3 vote — an event I most certainly welcomed given Matt’s shameful behavior toward Natalie. His penitence in the house this week didn’t convince me for a minute that he gained new respect for her after she clung to that mirrored ball for him; it seemed that he was playing nice for the camera and that his one massage for her was going to be just that — one measly massage. And yet, she still clung to him like a little tick in the summertime. James was smart to single out their alliance as a reason to backdoor Matt. That little white lie (and come on, it was; even James knew the Matt-Nat alliance was hardly a threat when Matt so obviously hated her signs of affection) will serve him well in the coming weeks if Nat continues to complain about James’ going back on his word.
NEXT: Smut and scripture
I’m pretty shocked that so many of you have written that you felt gypped by last week’s failed America’s Choice twist when it seems like we spend half of each season complaining whenever the producers bring evicted players back. Granted, I did celebrate when Kaysar returned to the house back in season 6, but even I had to admit that it didn’t make a difference. The dude lost, anyway. And finally, what’s up with all the homophobic references to James’ previous life as a porn star? Seems rather odd to take the moral high ground on that while eagerly wallowing in the gutter with him by Googling excerpts of this season’s orgy. I care no more about James’ stripping in front of boys than I do about Idol‘s David Hernandez’ doing it. (While we’re at it, hi to BB5‘s Jase!) I will, however, object, if he starts stripping for the BB cameras and we discover far more pink hair than we dared imagine.
And finally, a note on the Bible buddies. I suppose it’s kind of cute seeing the boys get all giddy over Jacob’s brides and the size of Goliath, but I think I’d have more fun watching the HGs deliberate over much denser fare — say, Stephen Hawking’s Brief History of Time or even Walter Isaacson’s Einstein. Hours of fun while the kids discuss the theory of relativity!
So Adam’s the new HOH. (Told you this lug had legs!) Now we may finally understand where his true alliances lie and who else he loves besides Sheila. And I predict she’ll have a tremendous influence on his nominations — possibly getting him to target James and Chelsia on Sunday — so we could have another exciting week of BB fun. Who do you think he’ll target? Do you think Ryan has gotten a second lease on life? And what do you think of the return of that Dick from BB8?