Ah, leave it to Paul Abrahamian (with Pablo in tow, of course) to remind me just how exceedingly unpleasant this season’s houseguests are. The master of friendship paid a visit to the Big Brother house this week to host the HOH competition, adding a much-needed dose of personality the house.
But more on that in a sec — for now, we’re fresh off of Shane’s angry exit and the house still stands divided, Ball-Smashers vs. Late Night Jamboree (and Scott in there somewhere). Danielle managed to say in the house, but now finds herself stuck in an alliance that tried to vote her out, and without Shane and his luscious locks to lean on for support.
Meanwhile, Kryssie is, as Paul would say, PISSED at Scott, because it was his tie-breaking vote that sent Shane packing instead of Danielle. Here’s an actual excerpt from their fight, courtesy of the Weekday Replays:
Kryssie: “Please Scott, you don’t have to pretend you like me.”
Scott: “Kryssie, I hope we still play video games outside of this. I hope we’re playing Call of Duty, I hope we’re playing Halo.”
Basically, Kryssie is convinced the entire world revolves around her and that, because everyone is playing Big Brother solely to ruin her game, Scott ousted Shane due to a personal vendetta against her. “You guys knew you couldn’t beat him, so you backdoored him. That’s f—ed up,” she says, CLEARLY NEVER HAVING WATCHED THE SHOW BEFORE.
“These people are idiots,” Shelby says to Alex and Morgan as the three listen from outside the door, and for once, I actually agree.
Back to the HOH competition: We see a contest we’ve seen in seasons past, where houseguests have to roll a ball down a windy path into a box at the end. Kryssie wins, but honestly, the only good part was seeing Paul back in the diary room. Seriously, where is the personality this season?! Why is it a bunch of Snore-y Coreys but with less love for Christmas?!
With Kryssie as HOH, hopefully she can stop crying long enough to enjoy the Late Night Jamboree finally being in power. Kryssie has one target in mind: Alex, who betrayed her trust two weeks ago and put her on the block after she pinky-promised not to. She talks with her crew, and they agree to come up with a plan to backdoor Alex. Then, they finish up their chat by putting their hands together and shouting “1, 2, 3, Shane!” in an embarrassing move that honestly has to be seen to be believed.
Unfortunately for Kryssie and her crew, America has other plans. Alex gets this week’s care package, which keeps her safe for the week (and makes her dress up in a French maid costume and perform chores for Kryssie, but hey, that’s still better than the block). Welp, there goes that plan.
With Alex out of the question, Kryssie’s target shifts to Scott because he “picked on her.” But, of course, there still needs to be a pawn this week, and watching the rest of the Ball-Smashers plead their case is outrageously painful. Morgan’s, like, plea, with like, Kryssie, is like, incredibly half-hearted and barely thought out; listening to Whitney speak makes me almost miss Bronte’s shrillness; and Shelby, oh Shelby. Isn’t she supposed to be a lawyer? How can she not even plead a case for her to stay? Her argument is essentially, “I’m not good at anything and everyone hates me” (although, if you think about it, that was probably the best argument of the three). It’s wild how Alex’s gameplay is leaps and bounds above the other members of her alliance.
NEXT: Cracks emerge in Late Night Jamboree
Though the power is in their favor this week, it isn’t all rainbows and butterflies for Late Night Jamboree. Jason, Neeley, and Kryssie sit in the HOH room discussing nomination options when Kryssie has a mini-meltdown. “You do understand that it looks like you guys are running me, right?” she tells her friends after they suggest possible scenarios. And even though Jason and Neeley are rightfully confused — they were simply chatting — Kryssie continues with, “I think everyone is way more interested in hearing what they have to say than what I have to say.” Man, Kryssie needs to chill. Kryssie is the girl who would tattle to a recess aid when someone tagged her in a game of freeze tag on the playground. If she wants her alliance members to stick around, she needs to cool it with the sass.
Eventually, Kryssie nominates Morgan and Scott. Neeley is revealed to be America’s nomination, making it pretty clear America is on Team Ball-Smasher this week. As an upset Kryssie goes to cry in the corner over that development, the veto competition begins. Players must answer questions about evicted houseguests while climbing a wall, and Morgan ultimately pulls off the win, bringing herself off the block. (Of course, the competition wouldn’t be complete without ANOTHER Kryssie freak-out — this time, she cries about having her hands bloodied by the rock wall).
With Morgan down, Kryssie chooses Whitney to replace her because she thinks no one will vote for her. Morgan makes a deal with Scott to keep him over Neeley, going against a deal she made earlier with Kryssie. But it’ll be fine, right? Because Kryssie doesn’t hold grudges or anything like that.
At the live eviction, the speeches get heated as Neeley accuses Scott of throwing people under the bus, “terrorizing” Danielle, and clapping when Kryssie hurt her hand in the veto competition. Whitney stands up to give a speech, too, but is just like, “I wish I could bake a cake filled with rainbows and smiles and everyone would eat and be happy!”
Neeley is ultimately evicted in a 4-3 vote, with America’s vote being the tiebreaker. Kryssie and Scott continue to fight over whether he clapped when she hurt her hand; Danielle and Scott fight over his applauding Neeley’s eviction; and I sigh and roll my eyes as I quietly whisper to myself, ‘High school never ends.’
Also, Justin’s pizza dance deserves a shout-out. It was by far the week’s best moment, though Scott shouting “I bring it!” after finishing the veto competition is a close runner-up.