Welcome to Big Brother: The Deep South. Oh, I’m sorry. I think the proper name is Big Brother: Over the Top, a special season that’s only available to those willing to cough up money for CBS All Access. Essentially, this is a season for the feeders — which means we need to get something out of the way right now. Full disclosure: I’m not a feeder. I do follow along on boards and Twitter and during regular seasons I watch After Dark most nights, so please don’t write me off. This is already shaping up to be an interesting season that we’re going to need to discuss together! Starting with the houseguests…
Whitney, 21, is a medical assistant from Eastern Kentucky. She is one of 100 Southerners that CBS cast for this season. (Seriously, these accents are killing me.) She calls herself the female Donnie, which is a BOLD statement.
Shane, 24, is a roofer from North Carolina — he’s hoping to win people over with his long, luscious hair. And it seems to be working.
Neeley, 33, is from Fort Worth, Texas. She’s one of the oldest members in the house, but hopes to sneak by as one of the young’uns. She’s hoping to win this money for her mom to help pay for her father’s medical costs. Aww.
Cornbread, 41 is from Georgia and his name is Cornbread. I repeat, his name is Cornbread. If you didn’t think he could get more Southern, he can. Like his approach to the game: “Treat it like eating an elephant, one piece at a time.”
Justin, 27, is a cartoon character come to life. I just can’t figure out which one yet. He’s from New Orleans and owns a restaurant, so the houseguests should be well fed.
Monte, 25, says his type of women is “good assets.” So that’s great. He also likes to hunt, fish, and blow stuff up — but he’s smart, too — at least that’s what he claims.
Alex, 25, loves Pokemon Go. (Which makes me wonder: Do you think the BB18 houseguests have learned about Pokemon Go yet?) She’s a gamer, but she’s also athletic. She also has a sister named Morgan, who just so happens…
Morgan, 22, is here, too. Yes, sisters again. Except they both get to be in the house, and they’re choosing not to tell anyone yet. Morgan says she’s more cutthroat and doesn’t want to work with her sister because she likes “weird stuff.”
Shelby, 24, wants you to know she’s really pretty. She’s also smart and in law school, but most of all she’s pretty. But she doesn’t want to brag.
Kryssie, 31, is a waitress by day and a “rock star” by night. But you might recognize her from her YouTube video showcasing her hatred of spaghetti and restaurant customers.
Danielle, 23, is a single mom and preschool teacher. She has a weird intro package about flag football that confuses me, but she reminds me a lot of Kylie Bunbury and Pitch is great (watch it if you haven’t!), so I like her right away.
Scott, 24, uses his very first opportunity of introducing himself to tell us he’s a virgin. He doesn’t plan to change that in the Big Brother house … probably. He’s also a superfan, in the vein of Steve or even Jason. Speaking of …
After all the houseguests enter the house, our voted-in-pick Jason enters the house. “I am back, bitches. The queen is here.” He wastes no time in kicking off this game. He immediately starts getting Liz and Julia vibes and talking about the blond girls who look a lot alike with other houseguests. But their secret is safe… for now.
NEXT: And then there were 12