”Big Brother”: Bully for you!
Well, they’re obviously celebrating like its New Year’s Eve over at CBS. This season’s most notorious player has survived like a roach post-Armageddon, guaranteeing at least one more week of fairly good ratings for Big Brother, if not an incredible surge in page views on the ad-supported CBS.com. (I, like you, am starting to think something’s up with Dick’s strange, if not dubious, distinction as the Most Favorite Player on the website — chosen, theoretically by fans.) Good God, I’m speechless.
I’m not exactly sure where things went so tragically wrong, though it likely involved Dick shouting about a million variations of b—h, f— or c— at somebody in the yard. Wait, I remember what happened now: that idiot Dustin offered himself as a pawn when Dick took Daniele off the block! Why Jessica only considered members of her own alliance as replacements and not Jen and Zach is beyond my comprehension. Why weren’t these two even remotely considered?
Poor little shell-shocked Dustin: so confident that he was going to stay, he forgot to change his shirt! Josh Wolk must ask him at the exit Q&A how much that thing smells. And I found it terribly unfair that the producers went to Gonorrhea Joe, not sympathetic friends and family (a privilege that was obviously afforded to Dick a week earlier) to provide outside testimony on Dustin’s game. Mean old producers! If I had to find one thing entertaining about Dustin’s unexpected ouster, it would be the moment toward the end of the show when Julie abruptly cut off Amber as she blubbered on about her little evicted buddy. Ah, the Chenbot — never ceases to botch the broadcast. Puffy shirt, though — nice!
Of course, I blame Jen for Dustin’s fate and am now revoking my unwavering support. First, she attempts to sway Jessica into thinking that Dustin can’t be trusted because he’s in a secret alliance with Dick. Then, she turns around and teams up with the man who’s made her life miserable since Day One. Who the hell is this woman, reality TV’s version of Hedda Nussbaum? I’m convinced Jen’s decision to align with Dick will come back to haunt her: Dick has already indicated on the feeds that he’d like to see Jameka and Amber nominated and Jen backdoored. It’s clear that she — like Eric, Jessica, and Zach — see the benefit of keeping Dick around. Surely, the jury won’t want to reward him after behaving so deplorably in the house, right? But I can see the plan backfiring (Jen, Zach, and Eric can’t win against Dick) and then we’ll be left with another anticlimactic win like the one we had last year: the much-reviled Boogie walking away with the cash. God, I hate that feeling; watching someone win who behaved so badly. We will all belabor this point well beyond this summer, but there’s no comparing shrewd and intelligent players like BB2‘s Will and BB3‘s Danielle with amateur bullies like Dick. Yep, he’s a train wreck; yes, he brings out the rubbernecker in all of us. But you’ll never convince me his vitriol is strategic. Never!
NEXT PAGE: Lynette looks over the message board
And now, on to some of your brilliant, if not scatological, posts. Let’s go to this one from Jules: ”I hate the way everyone (on the show and on these boards) criticizes players for being liars. You’re supposed to lie, people! It’s what the game is about…has anyone ever won a game like this without lying? Just because you lie on the show, doesn’t mean you are a chronic liar in ‘real life.”’
Actually, I beg to differ. Doc Jensen and I had a long and thoughtful discussion about this the other day and we both realized this could be the first season of BB where personality, not strategy, was so obviously at play. That’s what makes this season so damn watchable, if not a tad tragic: This is real life for these people; I do believe we’re seeing their true, authentic selves. Kail said it best during her exit interview with Julie — someone like Dick doesn’t lash out so freely and repeatedly unless it were par for the course. What kind of knucklehead would wake up the morning before his appearance on a reality show and say, ”I think I’ll act like the most hateful cretin alive,” and expect to win the grand prize? Dick actually got an early hint that his behavior was a turnoff — a fly-over banner comparing his old alliance to the most hated one in BB history, for crying out loud! — but he just kept shoveling the crap. A tiger can’t change his stripes. And I speak not only for Dick, but for others like Jameka, Eric, and especially Daniele. That girl’s waa-waa-don’t-blame-it-on-me routine is not a carefully orchestrated maneuver to curry favor with the house: These are true feelings of an immature girl who can’t take responsibility for her actions. Nothing is her fault; everybody else is to blame! And Amber — Amber! This woman can’t possibly be so naïve as to assume her anti-Semitic comments or stories about faux-abortions would win her friends and influence votes. Then again, Amber has probably convinced herself that just by staying true to herself — that is, remaining the weepy, goose-stepping bigot she really is — she’ll be assured a long and fruitful stay in the house. Make no mistake, people — this is as real as it gets. And frankly, it’s a little sad.
And now, to a message from Corran: ”I’m sorry Lynette, but are you that thick? If you watched last night’s episode, America voted for Eric to try to get Dustin nominated so if he goes up as a pawn, then America will most likely vote for him to get evicted.” Actually, Corran, I am that thick — I believed these HGs hated Dick as much as I did — though I’m not so thick as to disguise myself as Quincy Parks so I can post about 600 times a day. The board is yours, not mine — but I devour every word.
And this one from America’s Pawn: ”Sorry, but I GREATLY enjoy messing up Eric by voting for tasks that go against his agenda. I dislike Eric a great deal. I think he’s a slimy, nasty little weasel, & has already shown America that he’s playing more for himself than us.” This is honestly the first person I’ve come across who admits texting their vote to CBS! I’ve long assumed he was the Producer’s Player, not ours.
And finally, I can’t remember who posted it, but someone shared a rumor about Eric being a paid intern of CBS. From what I gather from the network, he was an assistant of a New York-based talent agent before he joined the show. For what it’s worth.
Okay, the floor is now yours. What do you think of these players? You think they’re as real as they can get or do you think their (foul) behavior is just an act? Does Jen deserve the backdoor treatment? Have you ever actually voted as America’s Player?
Click here for EW.com’s exit Q&A with Dustin.