The proton torpedo has been fired. The rebel base has been targeted. Light speed was achieved. That’s right, people — Sheldon and Amy had coitus. Talk about a big bang! Fans have been wondering for years if this would ever happen. Few could have predicted that Sheldon would choose to do the deed on opening night of the new Star Wars movie. Naturally the epic date falls on Amy’s birthday.
The decision to choose Amy over his pre-purchased movie ticket did cause a lot of anxiety. So much so that Professor Proton, decked out in glowing Jedi robes, appears to Sheldon in a dream. He advises Sheldon to ditch the premiere to prove to Amy that she is more important than one of the biggest sequels in pop culture history. Sheldon agrees, and the next day, he asks Penny and Bernadette to help him decide which present to give Amy. He has three ideas:
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1. A chance for her to play the harp with the Los Angeles Philharmonic. He has no idea if this is even a thing, but it sounds good.
2. An all-expenses paid trip to the Wisconsin Wool and Sheep Festival. She would be going alone
3. Having sex with Amy
Penny and Bernadette are floored that Sheldon is actually going to be intimate with Amy and overwhelmed that he wants to do it to show her how important she is in his life. They quickly squash the harp and sheep business, in favor of a romantic night. Sheldon is convinced: The best birthday present he can give Amy are his genitals.
With this astonishing news, Penny and Bernadette drop hints during their birthday preparations with Amy. They suggest a nice bikini wax or watching dirty movies so they can answer questions about copulation. Amy demands they tell her what’s going on. When they come clean that Sheldon is ready to be physical, Amy responds passionately, “SHUT YOUR DAMN MOUTH!” before taking her friends up on their waxing offer.
That night, Professor Obi-Wan visits Sheldon in his sleep again. This time Sheldon is concerned about the physical act of making love. When the Professor begins to explain the mechanics (using the term “bloomers”), Sheldon stops him. He understands the biology but is afraid of being overwhelmed by the act itself. The wise Jedi tells Sheldon that if it’s the right person, it will be okay.
The big day finally comes. Howard, Raj, and Leonard eagerly count down the minutes in the movie theater. Wil Wheaton shows up wearing a Star Trek uniform shouting, “Live long, and suck it!” to any naysayers booing him from the audience. He warns the boys not to get too excited just in case the movie is a complete disaster. Remember Jar Jar Binks?
Amy is also eagerly counting the minutes to her big day. Sheldon arrives and suggests they go out for a nice dinner. Amy wants him to give her his gift first. She eventually breaks, explaining that she knows that her gift is intimacy. Sheldon asks her if that’s alright, and she responds with a huge kiss. In true Sheldon form, he asks for a verbal confirmation, as well.
NEXT: Let’s take it to the bedroom
The two crazy kids take it to the bedroom, where Amy slips under the covers with Sheldon. She confesses that she has waited for this for so long and has built it up in her head. (The scene cuts to Leonard admitting the exact same thing in the movie theater.) Sheldon gently reminds Amy that he’s never done this before, either. They can figure it out together. And they do.
During post-coital bliss, Sheldon announces that he enjoyed that experience more than he thought he would and looks forward to doing it again on Amy’s next birthday. Over at the multiplex, Leonard, Raj, and Howard are in post-Star Wars bliss, basking in the glow of an incredible experience.
We’ve known for seasons that Amy has always desired a physical relationship with Sheldon. She had to balance the raging hormones of her endocrine system with the reality that her socially awkward boyfriend was a definite flight risk. After years and years of baby steps, Sheldon finally took the initiative to kiss Amy without prompting, invite her to a slumber party under a living room fort, and admit without hesitation that he loved her.
The idea that Sheldon comes to terms with his physical feelings regarding Amy, especially during a point in time when nerd culture is at the peak of its dorkdom, is absolutely satisfying. She will always cherish the night he chose to share his light saber with her instead of joining a group of Star Wars fanboys. I can’t wait to see the additions Sheldon makes under the new line item labeled “coitus” in the amended Relationship Agreement.
Penny: Let’s recap our options. We have the harp thing, the sheep thing…
Bernadette: And the WILD thing
Professor Proton: I have no idea what kids call their parts these days.
Sheldon: I think they say “junk.”
Professor Proton: What is happening with this world?
Professor Proton: I was just curious. How did it go?
Sheldon: It was amazing. I saw it a few days later. What a movie.
Professor Proton: Well, what about Amy?
Sheldon: She liked it fine. But she doesn’t have the history with the franchise like I do.
Professor Proton: Good talk.