Phew, that was a close one, Big Bang theorists — Sheldon Cooper held a girl’s hand for all of three seconds, and he didn’t recoil away. Oh yeah, also, for a second there, after Amy Farrah Fowler’s sexual appetite unexpectedly spiked from zero to the scientifically measurable amount known as “humina humina,” it almost seemed like Sheldon was going to have coitus. You can count me firmly on Team Science Is And Shall Always Be Sheldon’s Only True Love, so, in spite of myself (and I’m sure to the ridicule of many in the comments), I actually became rather panicked at the notion of Sheldon doing the horizontal mambo. Fortunately, instead, he just became Amy Farrah Fowler’s pimp, a solution that proved far more comedically satisfying (and, ultimately, kinda moot).
Amy’s libidinal outbreak first flared up when she was out at a bar with what must be the most oddly-matched female threesome currently on television. After regaling Penny and Bernadette with factoids like the standard heart shape is actually based on “the shape of the buttocks of a female bending over,” a former (quick) flame of Penny’s named Zach sauntered into the bar. Apparently, tall, broad-shouldered, and kinda doofy looking guys who look good in jeans are exactly the fuel needed to jump start Amy’s sex drive — almost immediately, she became flush, her heart began beating faster, her palms got clammy, and she began involuntarily exclaiming “hoo!” Naturally, in her most Lilith-from-Cheers moment yet, Amy concluded she had “the flu coupled with sudden onset Tourette’s syndrome.”
The next day, while Sheldon watched Amy slice a human brain over lunch (how romantic!), Amy recounted her symptoms to Sheldon — including “localized vascular throbbing” in an area that not even the most clinical of language will get me to type out here (I’m bashful, what can I say). Before Sheldon could render his verdict, however, he partook in a delightful bit of Who’s-on-First accidental word play with Amy:
Amy: Penny’s friend Zach stopped by and said “Hello,” and I said, “Hoo!”
Sheldon: Then why did you ask?
Amy: Ask what?
Sheldon: All right, let’s start over. What did you say when Zach walked in?
Amy: Why do you keep saying Zach?*
Sheldon: Because you keep saying “Who!”
Amy: I’m not saying “hoo” now. I said “hoo” last night.
Sheldon: And the answer was Zach, correct?
Amy: There was no question; I simply said “hoo!”
Sheldon: [Pause] All right, I think I have enough to go on.
*An odd question, in hindsight, since the record clearly shows Amy is the one who kept saying “Zach.”
NEXT: Sheldon? Having sex?! With Amy!?! Say it ain’t so! (Don’t worry, it ain’t so.)