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The Bachelorette recap: Baggage Claim

A trip to England is anything but jolly for Emily when one of her suitors compares Ricki to a suitcase

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Bachelorette 3

The Bachelorette

TV Show
Reality TV
run date:
Chris Harrison
Current Status:
In Season

Cheerio, rose lovers! As you may have guessed by my greeting, Emily and Ricki have hopped across the pond for the next leg of their “journey.” While they take in some sights from the top of a double-decker bus, Harrison greets the guys in Trafalgar Square and basically threatens them with a committed relationship: “Only one of you will become Emily’s husband. Yeah, I said it — husband.” Oh, game on, gentlemen.

Of course the first date card awaits the boys at the hotel, and the five guys who haven’t had a one-on-one date (Jef, Alejandro, Kalon, Sean, and Travis – holy crap is that guy still here?) are all crossing their fingers and whispering pick me, choose me, LOVE ME. But only Sean’s wish comes true, and while Jef is disappointed, Kalon is mad. “The hardest part for me is not ever having control of the scenario,” he huffs, not sounding creepy at all. Enjoy the hotel minibar, sucker, because Sean’s outta here — he and Emily are going to take a tour via (what else?) a double-decker bus. “Hello London!” Sean bellows from the top deck, as Emily claps for him like he’s a toddler who just went down the slide by himself for the first time. Though she and Sean are clearly out of their element (“I feel like I should know what that is,” confesses Sean as they drive past Big Ben), they’re comfortable enough to ask complete strangers to take their picture in front of tube stations and pay phones. All along the route Emily spouts convenient trivia, like “This is Buckingham Palace, and that balcony is where William and Kate had their first kiss.” Heyyy, that gives Sean an idea! “Maybe we should take our picture with the balcony in the background, and maybe I can kiss you.” Emily agrees. Say cheeeeesy!

Back at the hotel, Kalon — who I suspect knows he’s not Emily’s type and is getting really, really tired of hotel house arrest — picks up a verbal shovel and starts digging. When Jef complains about going on too many group dates, Kalon responds, “You’ve gotta realize that if you become a part of her life, pretty much any date is going to be a group date – it’ll be you, her and Ricki.” [insert maniacal laugh] Meanwhile, Emily’s at Hyde Park with Sean, where she continues using the “neg” technique to her advantage. “Guys usually that look like you are really boring,” she tells the Genetic Gift. “But you’re not boring, so you passed the test. Yay!” He must LOVE it, because he offers to carry her purse, and then professes his thoughts about love in Speakers’ Corner. “Standing here listening to Sean talk about love and be so confident is so hot,” Emily gushes. Perhaps she spent some time shouting from the soapbox too, because by dinner — which is held in the Tower of London, a former prison — Emily is completely hoarse. “Sean is totally my prisoner of love tonight,” she croaks. Fittingly, she begins interrogating him, trying to find out if he’s really as perfect as he seems: “So, you’re going to drop the bomb, that you’re divorced three times and have seven children.” Um, nope. He’s just… Sean. And did you see his abs? Give this guy a magnetized rose!

NEXT: The guys try to play their Bard right