America’s Got Talent is a little different this week. It seems that the rowdier contestants have forced the judges to walk outside to watch them perform death-defying acts of stupidity. Each act involves someone spinning, falling, or catching on fire. Poor Nick Cannon has to stand on the sideline so he doesn’t get blown to bits.
Buckle up, people. It’s AGT extreme week.
Nick explains that the stage just isn’t big enough for some of the acts in store for us. But before he takes the show elsewhere, there are a few performances leftover from last week that we need to see. This includes a woman who can manipulate 20 hula hoops and a contemporary dance duet who brought new life to the term “dirty dancing.” How will any of the other acts top that?
Eleven guys make up The Squad. Traditionally they competed against each other, until one day the best of the best were selected to perform an all-star super crew. Their synchronization is killer. One dude has long hair extensions. This is an important fact to note because his ponytail has its own choreography. Four yeses from the judges!
Daniella was born in Colombia. She had open heart surgery when she was a little girl. Her scar reminds her that she is a warrior. Her voice reminds me that singing opera is difficult. The audience claps in all the right places as she hit the high notes. Daniella is a delight, extremely charming, and I really covet her hair. She receives a standing ovation from all four judges. She’s through to the next round!
Once upon a time, Aiden walked into the U.S. Marshall’s office and announced that he was retiring. As a wanted con artist, he was immediately sentenced to five years in prison. Aiden found a deck of cards and a magic book his first day in the slammer. Now he’s on America’s Got Talent. He walks up to the judges table, spreads out an entire deck of cards, and turns one card over. He puts the deck back in the box and gives it to Howie. Then he asks Howard to make a call on his cell phone, asking that person to name any card in a standard deck. At this point, we learn that Howard calls his mother “Mommy” and she calls him “Darling.” Mommy picks the 10 of hearts. Aiden slowly takes the box from Howie, removes the cards, and flips the one downward facing card over. It’s the 10 of hearts. The judges are floored. Aiden is through to the next round. They have put one magician through every week. Maybe the magicians should take a cue from The Squad and form a super magician group?
Let’s get this out in the open—Uzeyer is an odd duck. I’m not sure if it was a language barrier, the glitz and glamour of the stage, or a good old fashioned short attention span, but Uzeyer was distracted from the beginning. Once he zeroes in on the judges, he tells them that he’s been climbing ladders for 15 years. And let me tell you, that’s exactly what he does for 90 seconds. It’s a lot cooler than it sounds. He went backward, forward, flipping, and spinning. If it can be done on a ladder, he did it. Even if it can’t be done on a ladder, he did it. Including a hand stand. Come on! His showmanship was entertaining too. The judges love him and send him straight through. I can’t wait to see what he climbs next.
Ballerina / Singer
Hanako is 59-years-old woman who has lived in the U.S. for two years. Her performance begins with a bit of ballet. Then she takes the microphone and belts “God Bless America” with the enthusiasm of Uncle Sam. Heidi is first to buzz. She is quickly followed by Mel B. Howard wonders if they hate America? The patriots begin to riot in the audience as Hanako holds that last note just a hair too long. As the only American judge on the panel, (Howie is from Canada) Howard is devastated that the audience’s chants of “U-S-A” do little to persuade the women to send Hanako to the next round. Nick comes out to comfort her and remind the restless crowd that he too loves amber waves of grain.
NEXT: Let’s get extreme