The Hollywood Week/Vegas Pool Party portion of American Idol season 11 has been a long, strange trip — and last night Steven Tyler provided a very convincing “closing argument” to the madness with a long, strange strip. A whole lotta ladies have professed their lust for this aging stripper, presumably in order to get on camera but hey, maybe not. As I gaze into Steven’s visible gems — the piles of bracelets, the delicate spots at which skinny calves pour into leopard-print ankle boots — I wonder if I, too, might suddenly have a taste for some Fruit of the Loon.
The moment passes. Hope they were watching!
They probably weren’t, because holy crap that was a long wait for 24 measly names. It took three hours over two nights to show (not even!) 42 kids shuffle miserably down a smoky catwalk. Next week, Idol will be on two hours for three nights. That’s six hours of singing and sobbing. I better haul ass to the custom hanky store and and get me some fancy ladytissues à la Adam Brock.
Here they are, America…Your Top 24!
Phil Phillips Jr.
PLUS one of these four guys: Jermaine Jones (operatic gentle giant who sang a beautiful “I Believe in You and Me” as his final solo), Richie Law (awful cowboy), Johnny Keyser (wait a minute, wasn’t he kicked off?), and David Leathers, Jr. (ohhhh baby give him one more chance). We’ll find out Tuesday which one.
NEXT: The Top 12 Girls