Ten girls sang for your 50-at-a-time votes Tuesday night, but only five will move on. Well, five plus the wild cards. No need to pretend those aren’t gonna happen! Oh, and no need to scan the audience for the best possible fan poster to encapsulate season 12, because here it is right now:
Oh my God. WE GET IT.
Zoanette Johnson: Tina Turner’s “What’s Love Got to Do with It” — Terrible. Horrible. No good. Very bad. I’m sorry I indulged her before. The only appealing part of this segment was one part of a near-unintelligible Zoanette sentence, which should be used as a general directive for all of time: “Put the icing on the freaking peach cobbler.” Preach! NEXT.
Breanna Steer: Beyoncé’s “Flaws & All” — I disagreed with Clown Bangs that this was the “absolute wrong song” for Breanna. I like that she goes for minor-key tunes with a bit of mood to them. If no one’s going to go uptempo, we could at least use a bit of mood. Randy made a decent point (STOP THE PRESSES) that this seemed more like an eighth or tenth song choice, one that might be sung further into the season, for Breanna. That doesn’t need to be a bad thing, though. I’d rather see understated with a cool ‘tude than predictable and boring with so-so “moments.”
Overall Breanna was my fifth-favorite of the night — but singing second may hurt Breanna’s chances at the Top 5 girls, and her elaborate hand-choreography (can’t expect her to move around in those heels) is already wearing on me.
Aubrey Cleland: Fergie’s “Big Girls Don’t Cry” — She is so pretty. Soooooo pretty. But is there anything sadder than sitting down for a Coke Chat with Ryan Seacrest and saying “I just need to show my personality” out loud instead of just doing so in some other way? I don’t think this performance was memorable enough to advance Aubrey, who looked stunning a white peplum dress and sounded gorgeous on the last line of this song. The rest of the time, it felt like she was chasing the beat (understandably so, as the rhythm of the tricky song does fluctuate), so that when she did approach what should have been her big “moment” notes, they just sounded like yelling.
Keith and Nicki admired Aubrey’s beauty, humility, and vibrato, while Randy loved the “vibrata” (the beautiful, humble, feminine version of vibrato?) and Mariah loved Aubrey’s “ensem-blay.” So we’re just making up words now. #InItToWinIt
NEXT: A bag of marshmallows vs. a Janelle Arthur album — pick one