The Ford Music Videos are usually crazy enough, but in this week’s they just built a tree out of garbage. Everyone please remember to recycle, and purchase Fords. Back to the crazy. James Durbin is a big pro-wrestling nerd, so why not devote 10 minutes to that? Suddenly Naima and one of her flowy skirts were introducing the American Idol Showdown ft. Pillows. It was the Durbs vs. Paul McDonald, but then Pia was able to approximate football player grease paint from her magical bag of makeup-artist tricks (I’m assuming), and suddenly it was more like Paul McDonald’s empty brownie pan vs. everyone. Eat your heart out, Hulk Hogan!
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. “Eye of the Tiger” boomed out, and there was Hulk freaking Hogan on the Idol stage, having appeared out of thick, smoke-machined air to inform Paul and James of their relative safety. Hulk really took his time doing this, so the Durbs got to flop around like a fish and wipe away tears for a while. It was almost like an action figure was talking instead of a human, if you just looked at Paul and James’ reactions instead of the burnt-sienna action figure in question. Eventually Hulk walked over and “punched” Ryan, because that’s really what all of this was about. Ryan flailed into some audience members who looked a little too thrilled to be “unexpectedly” hosting him. “THIS! Is AMERICAN IDOL,” Hogan bellowed, and began to rip off his tank top to reveal a grotesque wax sculpture with all sorts of upsetting cracks in it, but had to pause mid-strip for artistic purposes, I’m guessing. And then a commercial break? For real? It was real, and it was spectacular.
The musical guests weren’t too crazy, but I suppose it was a little crazy that they were so talented this week. I spent most of Sugarland’s “Stuck Like Glue” trying to figure out which element of Jennifer Nettles’ outfit looked more like a fanny pack: black shirt or seafoam belt. The kelly-green pants only compounded my confusion. I believe Randy would say that Jennifer Hudson blew it out of the box on her new single “Where You At.” I loved this, even though I prefer a slightly higher register for her. “Deliver! Deliver,” she did. Wow. According to Ryan, she’s the only Idol winner with an Oscar — even though she didn’t even win her season! How does that happen? What a transformation. HEAT WAVE.
Well, whew! So insane. What do you think about Casey? Should the judges have saved their save? Should Casey obey J. Lo’s orders to “get back to the musician you are,” or was he already doing that? Randy kept insisting that he didn’t need to growl anymore. All I’m asking is that he get back on that upright bass.
Hey, let’s check in with Kristen again.
What would you ask the Top 11? EW will be interviewing the contestants next week and we want your input. If you could grab the Durbs by the tail, or Jacob Lusk by his bejeweled cuff links and ask them anything, what would it be? Leave your questions in the comments, and I’ll see you next week!