Ashthon Jones, the little diva that, as it turns out, couldn’t, had to choo-choo out of the Idoldome in American Idol‘s first finalist elimination of season 10. She tried to show her “softer side” instead of her “edge” (WHY?) and ultimately choked this week. America made the right call. In fact, the only thing less surprising than Wild Card Ashthon’s demise was that J. Lo wore a blouse with one sleeve made entirely out of whipped cream to complement her mustard skirt. The condiment-starved Randy Jackson barely knew where to stare.
Ashthon told Ryan and America that she’d chosen the wrong song for Wednesday’s “musical heroes” night…and then proceeded to sing the same wrong song for her life in the hopes of becoming America’s Next Top Modern Day Idiot. She came close, but the judges decided not to use their only Save on the one-time Beyoncé impersonator. By the end of the hour, Diana Ross and David Cook’s words had blended rather uncomfortably into one powerful message: “When You Tell Me That You Love Me, Don’t You Forget About Me.” But dramatically dry-eyed J. Lo has likely already forgotten.
Haley Reinhart and Karen Rodriguez joined Ashthon in the bottom three after Sneaky Seacrest had pulled a major fakeout on Karen. “You’re all safe…EXCEPT KAREN!” he triumphantly announced to Jacob, Stefano, and Karen. Ryan!!! Jeez. Watch your mouth, and work on your fake-sadness (pictured, top) while you’re at it. The poor lady-trio also had to sit through Ryan intro-ing Diddy Dirty Money (whose “name” I have not been able to type with a straight face even after five attempts) and Ryan imploring the rest of the contestants to get up and celebrate their collective safety on the popularity sofa in front of their fallen comrades seated on the stools of doom. A little celebration! he urged them. Ryan, seriously! Find your lane.
NEXT: Filler, more filler, and His Hotness Adam Lambert