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American Idol recap: God Bless the Wild

A charismatic singer heads home; J. Lo writhes around “On the Floor”; Steven Tyler plays with popcorn

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Jacob Lusk
Michael Becker/Fox

American Idol

type:
TV Show
Current Status:
In Season
seasons:
15
performer:
Harry Connick Jr., Jennifer Lopez, Keith Urban, Ryan Seacrest
broadcaster:
Fox
genre:
Reality TV

America got it right! America wants to win it!

On Thursday night’s American Idol results show, eliminated top 5 contestant Jacob Lusk had me laughing my butt off as he refused to quit his farewell solo, “A House is Not a Home.” I had already been crying due to Lauren Alaina’s tears of terror, but the way Jacob kept extending those final few “notes” sent me into a delightfully pathetic giggle-weep hybrid. What really set me off was the supportive fist pump from Jacob’s mom after she realized her son was truly not going to stop singing, ever. (Or at least until my DVR cut the episode off.)

Esteemed Colleague Email Interlude:

Doc is in it to win it!

Yep, Jacob was the right choice and we all knew it. Thursday’s real onstage drama involved a bewildered Scotty McCreery, who was encouraged by the incorrigible Ryan Seacrest to decide who had made the top two: Jacob/Lauren (ugh, as if!) or James Durbin/Haley Reinhart. Scotty stayed classy and simply refused, about 17 times. Good for him.

At least Lauren and Jacob had their moment to shine in a longer-than-you’d-think two-part cooking segment hosted by Gordon Ramsay. He might have some other show on the same network; I don’t know. Who can keep up these days? This is really gross, but I was desperate to eat the tomato/asparagus/lobster “omelet” Jacob whipped up (maybe not that exact mess, but tomatoes, asparagus, and lobster in general…or maybe just lobster) and became irrationally angry when Chef Ramsay threw away Haley’s perfectly normal-looking mushroom, asparagus, and cheese pile. At least it had a shape! Ugh, my standards.

Anyway, after the lazy editors used the same clip of Lauren’s jaw drop with bonus tongue action three times, our 16-year-old Southern belle officially became the Best American Idol Chef. So what if she mistook a chunk of beef for a pork chop? As the Best American Idol Recapper Who Seizes the Opportunity to Order Takeout, I mistake shrimp pad see ew for EW.com all the time.

NEXT: Annnnnd speaking of things that make no sense….

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