Of course — of course! — I’m sick of Randy Jackson and Jennifer Lopez acting like American Idol is this super-complicated jigsaw puzzle and that James, Scotty and Lauren have SUDDENLY SOLVED IT. But as the judges stuck nearly word-for-word to the same tired script as last week, I somehow stopped being angry that the terrible two had once again singled Haley Reinhart out as the only final four contestant who’s ever done anything even a little bit wrong. Haley’s already decided their comments don’t matter, so why should I? Their weird bias could get the growler more votes anyway, so good for her.
No, what struck me about the two treacherous toddlers this week was how they absolutely refused to be candid, EVER. J. Lo — so passionate about her groundbreaking role as Lead Actress in a reality series — might as well be reading directly from her NigelsNotes the entire time, and I don’t think Randy’s endlessly repetitive praise-babble has ever pissed me off more. His comments can rarely even be targeted to the person in question! He’s awful. He’s a pile of air crisps that ends up leaving you hungrier than you were before you stupidly decided to burn calories by chewing a “snack.” The whole performance show this week played out like a sad, sad script of what Randy’s been saying for years and what J. Lo thinks an Emmy-worthy TV character should say. It’s nothing. Viewers get…nothing. We lose. Good day, sir!
Esteemed Colleague Email Interlude:
It really was. Deep breath. Here we go.
NEXT: It’s James Durbin’s journey; we’re just along for the ride