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The Amazing Race recap: This Means War... Kind Of

It’s off to France for yummy-looking bread and silly war games for the racers

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Monty Brinton/CBS

The Amazing Race

TV Show
Reality TV
run date:
Phil Keoghan
Jerry Bruckheimer
Current Status:
In Season

Wow. Do you think when the teams signed up for this season of Amazing Race they knew they’d be ”shot at” or have to crawl under ”barbed wire” that could tear their skin apart? Holy waiver! No, I’m joking. The family-hour version of World War I looked more like a Nickelodeon take on battle, with really messy piles of dirt blowing everywhere and wire about as dangerous as that Pamela Anderson movie. Which is not to say this week wasn’t a battle because it was.

And kudos to the show because by halfway through the episode I thought we were going to see the exact same results as last week with Jeff and Jordan headed home. But, you never know when that Travelocity gnome will show his dark side and someone will forget to pick up a clue and someone else will get U-turned. Okay, the gnome had nothing to do with it, but he scares me anyway.

Let’s go pre-war when the teams were on a bus headed to a secret location. Joe and Heidi were in the back, Joe’s knee on a vat of ice. ”The race has put a toll on my leg,” he said. ”I’ve been running with one leg.” Um, did he see season 10? Someone named Sarah ring a bell? That’s called running the race with one leg. But I can’t really diss Joe so much because he actually redeemed himself as a decent guy tonight. Not sure why he insisted on being a jerk every other week, but the hobbled knee made him a lot kinder to Heidi. Even Heidi went on about their ”unconditional love and patience toward each other.” Too bad everyone didn’t feel that unconditional love for them. And by everyone I mean Louie and Michael.

But I’m getting ahead of myself. Teams got off the bus and headed to Saint Menehould where they had to find a boulangerie and buy a fresh baguette. Okay. Yum. How good did those loaves look? Kind of loved Steve and Allie and their bread banter about which one of them did or did not know what a baguette was. Now that Berty Van M. is actually showing them for more than 1.2 seconds an episode, they’re proving to be one of the most adorable racing couples ever on the show. They’re funny, competent, charming, and supportive. And, by the looks of the past few weeks, they’re going to be around much longer.

A few other teams have a hard time wrapping their heads around the word ”baguette.” It’s not that hard a word to master, guys. Haven’t you ever been to Au Bon Pain? Jet calls it something like ”bay-gou-ette” and I’m instantly understanding why French people don’t like when Americans speak their language.

NEXT: Going under the wire