I’m filling in for Jessica Shaw this week, and brother, did I luck out! I spent six months studying abroad in Germany, so I was loving last night’s sauerkraut-infused episode. Jet and Cord did not share my excitement: the move from South America to Central Europe definitely put Team Cowboy off balance. Early in the episode, perhaps anticipating the trouble they’d soon be having with subways and beer halls, Cord told his partner, ”There’s cities all over the world, Jet. We’re from the country. We can’t tell.”
The Brothers McCoy charmed a travel agent with some broken Spanish, and landed on the same flight as the Detectives. Detectives and Cowboys are usually natural enemies, like the mongoose and the rhino. But Louie and Michael seem to have a real affection for the Oklahoma Kids. On another flight, Carol and Brandy affirmed their new devotion to not freaking out all over each other: ”You get two strong-willed women together, and they think they’re right… the word for the day is RESPECTFUL.” Dan confirmed what some of us were already expecting, admitting that he doesn’t like traveling; he’s on the show because Jordan loves Race, and ”I saw an opportunity to help my brother achieve his dream.” So, just so we’re clear, people named Jordan always get what they want. Thanks for the lesson, TV!
The Cowboys and the Detectives arrived at the Bahnhof mere minutes ahead of the stragglers. ”Man, I just watched the movie where the lady fell off in the tracks,” said Jet. Or was it Cord? I can’t quite tell them apart, except by the color of their hats. (Is the one wearing the black hat the bad guy?) The stragglers were told by the helpful ticket-taker that the train was leaving in three minutes. Brent and Caite got lost (this is Be Kind to Airheads month, so I should point out that the Frankurt train station was designed by Dr. Caligari.) The stragglers all missed the train by just a few seconds. German trains always leave on time. Thanks for another lesson, TV!
In Hamburg, the teams had to find a street called Jungfernstieg, which roughly translates as ”young distant path” according to my internet translator. It was Intersection time: two teams had to merge, and one person from each team had to go bungee jumping. ”City and country are gonna work together today!” said Michael, patting Jet on the back. Jet, for his part, admitted that he wouldn’t have been able to find the subway without Michael: ”When we say Metro, that means City.”
The other alliances were interesting, and seemed to point toward future tension. Joe and Heidi paired up with Steve and Allie. Heidi: ”They come from a good family, we come from a good family.” Dan, on Carol: ”She’s like the lesbian aunt I never had.” Jordan and Jeff reached the Intersection point right before Brent and Caite arrived attractively in last place. ”Brent and Caite are like our alliance,” said Jeff. How can I put the awfulness of the JJ/BC alliance in geopolitical terms? It’s as if Luxembourg and Lichtenstein teamed up and bragged that they could totally kick Monaco’s butt.
Brent explained to the camera, ”Caite lived in New York for awhile; I got a feeling she can figure the subway out.” Jordan was equally confident in Caite’s ability to navigate Hamburg’s U-Bahn. Cut to: Caite, marveling at all the pretty colors on the subway map and getting on a car going in the wrong direction. ”The metro is not too specific about which places it goes to,” said Caite. Yes, as we all know, the Germans are an imprecise species, preferring ambiguity to cold hard facts. How else could there be so many German poets and so few German engineers?
NEXT: Keep your hat on!