A lot of things happened this episode — new alliances, kicks in the head, a near-striptease, llama whispering — but before we get started on all that, I’m going to have to address the over-arching theme of tonight’s episode: head gear. Maybe it was an acute case of Southern Hemisphere Eye, but there were quite the curious choices. Caite wore a silver glitter headband that seemed to be lifted right out of Olivia Newton John’s Let’s Get Physical video, Jeff wore a cream-colored thing that looked like a clearance rack head stocking, and Jet and Cord found plastic to cover their cowboy hats which, frankly, seemed a little prima-donna-ish if you’re cowboy. Aren’t cowboys all about wearing their hats no matter what’s going on outside? Since when does a little water dampen the cowboy spirit? Oh my gravy.
Now that we’ve gotten the sartorial segment of tonight’s recap out of the way… Phil and his purple shirt kick off the episode explaining yet again how the teams are leaving the ”San Francisco of Chile” for another leg. This leg requires a bus back to Santiago, another bus to drive the 575-mile journey to Puerto Varas, a car ride to a lake, a boat ride to Isla Margarita, and then a detour.
Jeff and Jordan, so clean in their racing in leg one, immediately start off weak. ”Bus? Bus? Bus take us there?” Jordan says to the taxi driver, attempting to speak her native tongue. Oh, hush. I mock because I love. It’s impossible not to root for these two (”Barbie and Ken,” as Team Sappho calls them). He tells jokes she pretends to get, she asks him to carry her backpack, she hurries him along and then walks while he runs, she interrupts him when he’s being all cute and mushy about how they’re growing as a couple.
Back to the buses. Team Sappho decides to work with Joe and Heidi, who will from now on be called Team Gosselin because I can’t stop thinking Joe is Jon Gosselin. I’m kind of surprised about that instant alliance because I really like Carol and Brandy and had an instant aversion to Joe. Heidi I’m neutral on, but she loses points for marrying and procreating with that buffoon. ”They’re strong. We’re strong,” Brandy said. How about ”He shows misogynistic tendencies and we love women?” Nonetheless, the teams pair up and play unfair line cutsies to score tickets. ”You can’t be holding spots!” Michael says, though of course they can be holding spots and they do.
Of course, it’s IN YOUR FACE JOE when Jet and Cord bypass the traditional direct route by finding a bus that travels through Temuco and lands them in first place. Not that anyone saw that coming. ”I wouldn’t be surprised if they’re not around much longer,” Dan says of Jet and Cord. At that point I was pretty sure Dan and Jordan were gone because Berty V-M likes to do the fake-out where one team predicts another’s demise only to implode themselves.
NEXT: Jody pictures herself FTW….Poor Jody