Reunions can be fraught with anxieties, especially if you were a lonely nerd in high school, as Lemon remembers herself. But they’re also an opportunity to turn the page, to prove to the cool/pretty crowd that the “ugly duckling has turned into a vaguely ethnic swan.” That’s really what reunions are about. (That and hairlines.)
Even though she’s blossomed, Lemon had no intention of attending her high school reunion. Sure, she now runs a popular television show and has settled on a hairstyle that works for her so long as it’s not too humid, but she’s still a broad who buys cream soda in bulk and can clog a toilet with the best of them. Deep down, she’s still that frizzy-haired girl with the telescope. (Could anyone decipher what Lemon mumbled to Kelsey in her flashback?) No one could convince her otherwise. Not Jenna, who apparently went to school at sea. Not even Jack, who’s looking forward to the next Princeton get-together to “wipe that smug smile off Michelle Obama’s face.” The promise of popcorn, on the other hand, is a game-changer, and before you could say, “whittling, jug blowing IHOP monkeys,” Lemon and Jack were heading south on a private jet.
The plane ride to suburban White Haven, Pa., was a disaster, and Jack was already agitated by the recent revival of his mentor Don Geiss. Finally awakened from a coma, he reneged on his promise to name Jack CEO of GE. The aging exec was revitalized, attributing his surge to a beam of energy or an unborn Aztec king. (Wouldn’t surprise me if said “beam of energy” was actually injured jaywalker, Devon Banks, who could’ve been whispering such suggestions into his comatose father-in-law’s subconscious. Just a thought.)
Jackie Boy didn’t handle the news well. After all, he had already ordered new business cards. With Geiss back on top, it will be interesting to see how Jack responds. He idolized the man, but he was incapable of suppressing his disappointment at the sudden change in plan. Can we expect Jack to completely turn on Geiss, or will Jack settle for limiting the number of times the TGS can say “cat anus.” (For the record, 30 Rock can get away with it five times per show.) Feeling suddenly impotent (hahahahahahahaaa…aha…ha), Jack booked the ill-fated jet to Miami, by way of White Haven.
Poor weather forced a rough landing but not before a panicked Lemon admitted to shower urination and the fact that she witnessed an early Lemon Party featuring her grandparents. Apparently, she forgot to bring along her Comanaprisil. Unable to continue to Miami, Jack was stranded in Lemon’s dry town, overrun, apparently, with Vietnamese toughs. Since the only alcohol within 30 miles was at Lemon’s party, Jack bellied up to the reunion bar.
NEXT: Lemon’s history as a mean girl