How to begin? A gorgasm of hilarity? More bizarre than an orgy chamber full of snake elves, Tom Arnold, and Dick Cheney? As tangy as evaporated bull semen? What I’m trying to express, folks, is that last night’s season finale of 30 Rock tickled in all the right places — even Pete Hornberger, circa 1980, was funny! — and though we’ve been teased by events that will happen in the next three months, next season suddenly seems a long, long way off. Blurg.
Jack followed through on his threat to leave GE, trading his lame-duck status on the 12th floor for an appointment in the lame-eagle Bush administration. When Jack mocked the administration as a sinking ship last week, he had no idea the metaphor would prove so literal. His Washington office ceiling is actually leaking, a disgusting symptom of trickle-down economics that denies the demoralized Extreme Weather Preparedness and War on the Poor programs in Homeland Security such basic necessities as pens. ”We’re not in a recession,” said his feeble new boss, Cooter Burger (Matthew Broderick), who denied that the ceiling was dripping — ”It’s not. I’ll show you the study” — but was quickly drawn to Jack’s proactive leadership. The actor best known as Ferris Bueller is more Cameron Frye these days, perfecting the role of impotent bureaucrats in films like Election and You Can Count on Me. When his real-life Beltway equivalents see this damning portrayal, they’ll cry in their baths and/or ink angry letters to NBC, written in ketchup or dirty rock.
Like Liz Lemon herself — ”I’m 37, please don’t make me go to Brooklyn” — 30 Rock rarely ventures beyond Manhattan, but detours to Cleveland and a Pennsylvania OTB have inspired some of this show’s silliest episodes. Though Jack quickly regretted his move to Washington, there’s no denying he’s built to operate in the corridors of power. He hadn’t been there five minutes, and already he was calling in chits to get things done. There’s no need to bribe a public official when you can simply say, as Jack does to the lovely C.C. Cunningham, ”We’ll keep this professional. I did certain things for you in bed that you were going to reciprocate, but then we broke up before my birthday. So you owe me.” We know the Jacker will be in Washington for at least three more months, but what’s the rush? His forceful speech to the Republican dam-haters — ”Dam is a swear word. I’d support it if, instead of dam, we called it a God finger” — could put him on the short list of John McCain’s running mates. Do not misunderestimate the influence of the Committee to Reinvade Vietnam.
NEXT: Wizard nipples