Brad Pitt is opening up for the first time about his split from his wife Angelina Jolie and speaking his own shortcomings, his struggle with alcohol and what the high-profile breakup means for their six children.
In the extensive talk, the 53-year-old actor mentioned his estranged wife’s name just once, recommending the interviewer check out her movie about Cambodia, First They Killed My Father: “You should see Angie’s film.”
Pitt revealed that he recently started therapy and has given up alcohol.
“I was boozing too much,” he shared. “It’s just become a problem. And I’m really happy it’s been half a year now, which is bittersweet, but I’ve got my feelings in my fingertips again.”
He added, “Truthfully I could drink a Russian under the table with his own vodka. I was a professional. I was good.”
When asked how he simply stopped drinking, the Allied star said, “Don’t want to live that way anymore.”
While he sticks to cranberry juice and “fizzy water” nowadays, Pitt admitted that he tends to take things so far.
“For me this period has really been about looking at my weaknesses and failures and owning my side of the street,” he said. “I’m an a–hole when it comes to this need for justice. I don’t know where it comes from, this hollow quest for justice for some perceived slight. I can drill on that for days and years. It’s done me no good whatsoever. It’s such a silly idea, the idea that the world is fair. And this is coming from a guy who hit the lottery, I’m well aware of that. I hit the lottery, and I still would waste my time on those hollow pursuits.”
Because it was “too sad” to be at the Hollywood Hills home where his six children spent much of their time, the actor said he crashed on a friend’s floor in Santa Monica following his split with Jolie.
Despite his attempt to stay out of the spotlight in recent months, he fears for his kids after the details of his bitter custody battle were splashed across the media.
“I worry about it more for my kids, being subjected to it, and their friends getting ideas from it,” he said. “And of course it’s not done with any kind of delicacy or insight—it’s done to sell. And so you know the most sensational sells, and that’s what they’ll be subjected to, and that pains me.”
The actor’s blue eyes take center stage in the series of photos, each of which he looks directly into the camera unsmiling.
One cover shows Pitt in a pink sweater and silver chain, with white sand dusted across his face. Another shows the movie star among tall brown weeds donning an orange Hawaiian shirt. In the third photo, he wears a white blazer with gold chain, staring at the camera straight-on.
Though he appears to have lost weight, a source previously told PEOPLE, “He’s healthy and much happier. Things with his family have improved, all is being addressed privately, and it’s serving everyone in the family well.”
Pitt was photographed by Ryan McGinley at notable locations including the Everglades, the White Sands and Carlsbad Caverns.
This article originally appeared on People.com