Ernest Macias
October 17, 2017 AT 01:44 PM EDT

“Sorry Not Sorry,” indeed: Demi Lovato is unapologetically raw in her new YouTube documentarySimply Complicated, out now.

In an intimate interview — which she was admittedly anxious to do — and footage of her life in the spotlight, seemingly no topic is off limits as Lovato allows fans (and haters) to peek into a journey that dates back to her pre-Disney childhood. She makes powerful confessions about the tough times, specifically when she punched one of her backup dancers in the face on tour with the Jonas Brothers in 2010, an altercation that led her to seek help and face her demons. Lovato also opens up about her sexuality, which she refuses to label. Below, take a look at the most powerful revelations straight from Lovato’s lips.

1. On being single and dating: “I am on a dating app with both guys and girls. I am open to human connection. So whether that’s through a male or a female it doesn’t matter to me.”

2. On owning her sexuality and sensuality: “There’s like a certain stigma around a woman having casual sex. For me, I just feel like it’s my body and it’s my choice and it’s exciting and it’s a connection with somebody and it’s fun.”

3. On making the documentary: “I actually had anxiety around this interview, because the last time I did an interview this long I was on cocaine. It was called Staying Strong.”

4. On cocaine: “My first time doing coke I was 17, working on Disney Channel, and I was with a couple friends and they introduced me to it. I was scared because my mom always told me your heart could just burst if you do it. But I did it anyways and I loved it.”

5. On her bipolar disorder: “I was 18 when I first when into treatment. When I first got diagnosed with bipolar disorder it just made sense. When I was younger I didn’t know why I would stay up so late writing and playing music. And then I learned about episodes of mania, and I realized that that’s probably what it was — I was manic. In a way, I knew that it wasn’t my fault anymore — something was actually off with me.”

6. On growing up with depression: “I was depressed at a very, very young age. Fascinated with death. Wondering what it would be like to have a funeral. I never knew why I would think so darkly and it took me a little while to figure out what was actually going on.”

7. On punching a backup dancer: “She had already boarded the plane. I just went up to her and it was like a blur. Everyone was freaking out. I just remember going and sitting down, texting my mom, ‘I’m sorry,’ and I slept the whole day. I just came to a breaking point.”

8. On the time she almost overdosed: “I went on like a bender for like two months where I was using daily. There was one night where I used a bunch of coke and I popped a few Xanax bars and I started to choke a little bit, my heart started racing, and I remember thinking, ‘Oh my God, I might be overdosing right now.'”

9. On her relationship with Wilmer Valderrama: “I think my heart’s always with Wilmer. I think it was with Wilmer, it is with Wilmer, and I think it will be with Wilmer, because you don’t share six years with somebody and not give them a piece of your heart.”

10. On her breakup with Valderrama: “It had nothing to do with falling out of love — we decided together that we’re just probably better as friends.”

11. On her eating disorder: “Food is still the biggest challenge in my life, it controls. I don’t want to give it the power and say that it controls my every thought, but it’s something that I’m constantly thinking about: body image, what I’m going to eat next, what I could be eating, what I wish I didn’t eat. It’s just constant.”

12. On binging: “When I feel lonely my heart feels hungry and then I end up binging and I don’t know how to figure out how to move on.”

13. On her recovery: “You know you really have to surrender because that’s when the change is going to happen.”

14. On making exercise part of her recovery: “Working out is a form of meditation to me because I’m not focused on anything in my head. It can transport you to a totally different place. I’m on a journey to discover what it’s like to be free of all demons.”

15. On the importance of her fans: “The benefit I have over some artists is my connection with my fans. So I thought what better way to get my fans involved and to have intimate performances than to throw a house party tour. Things like that can turn into awesome memories and that’s what it’s all about. Like, I wouldn’t have the career that I have today, I wouldn’t be alive today without my fans, and I want them to be involved in any way they can because they mean so much to me.”

16. On the role music has played in her life: “When I look back at my life, I fell like if I didn’t have music, I don’t know what I would have. I have my friends and my family, but music gave me a purpose when I was bullied in school, it gave me the motivation to keep going and prove to everyone that didn’t believe in me that I was going to be something someday.”

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