“You had always said I saved you, that you wouldn’t be alive if it were not for me,” she wrote. “My heart gleamed to see you happy, living, and motivated. Excited for life. Doing everything you could to give back. We had the time of our lives in the last decade and I’m sorry, my sweet love, that I did not see what happened to you that night.”
Chris had played a show with Soundgarden the night of his death. Vicky previously said they spoke on the phone after the concert, and she noticed he was slurring his speech. “When he told me he may have taken an extra [anti-anxiety medication] Ativan or two, I contacted security and asked that they check on him,” she said in a statement. He was found dead in his hotel room that night, and the medical examiner later ruled that he died by suicide.
“I’m broken, but I will stand up for you and I will take care of our beautiful babies,” Vicky continued in her letter. “I will think of you every minute of every day and I will fight for you. You were right when you said we are soulmates. It has been said that paths that have crossed will cross again, and I know that you will come find me, and I will be here waiting.”
Read her full letter here.
If you or someone you know is considering suicide, please contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255).