Clark Collis
October 13, 2017 AT 12:30 PM EDT

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With his distinctive blue overalls, ginger hair, and maniacal stare, Chucky is hard to miss as he walks through the door of Los Angeles’ Black bar to hoist three rounds with EW — at least, he’s hard to miss once you remember to look down. Not that the only-needs-one-name movie megastar has any regrets about his lack of stature preventing him from, say, fully enjoying amusement parks. “I don’t like roller coasters,” he says. “It’s hard to flee the scene of the crime when you’re strapped into it.” Chucky’s not joking. In 1988’s Child’s Play, the “Good Guys” doll was possessed by the spirit of a serial killer and embarked on a murder spree. That cavalcade of carnage has continued through six sequels, including 1998’s Katherine Heigl-costarring Bride of Chucky and the just-released, Don Mancini-directed Cult of Chucky (now available on Blu-ray, DVD, and digital platforms), which features franchise veterans Fiona Dourif, her father Brad, Alex Vincent, and actress-turned-poker-tournament regular Jennifer Tilly. In person, Chucky is doll — sorry, droll — company, but rumors of a short fuse prove true. The star becomes increasingly irritated by the presence of photographer Jeff Minton (apparently, Chucky’s publicist neglected to mention a snapper would be present) and turns positively terrifying after EW asks what it is like to work with Tilly. “The woman’s a genius,” says Chucky. “But she doesn’t want it getting out. For poker. Crap, now I’m gonna have to kill you. Seriously.” Oof, let’s hope he’s a good drunk.

ROUND 1: Pabst Blue Ribbon

Jeff Minton for EW

ENTERTAINMENT WEEKLY:  Cult of Chucky is set in a mental institution. Do you think you might benefit from therapy?
CHUCKY: I can’t think of anything I’ve ever done that would make me need therapy.

How do you explain the longevity of the Child’s Play franchise? What’s the special sauce?
I’m gonna go out on a limb here and say it’s on account of me. What can I say? Chicks dig me.

How do you think you’ve evolved as a performer over the course of the franchise? Do you feel like you’ve grown? (No pun intended.)
I’ve gotten really into improv. Comedians come up with the funniest s— when you pull out a knife on stage. But yes, I’ve evolved. I’d like to take on King Lear one day. And Newsies.

What did you spend your first big movie-star paycheck on?
Bail. And a fitted tuxedo. In that order.

How do you relax?
A little light stalking. Maybe a simple strangulation. And some weed. Not necessarily in that order.

Are you a good cook? What’s your go-to dish for entertaining?
Hamburger Helper, but instead of hamburger, I use people. No, seriously. I rarely entertain.

What’s the best and worst thing about being famous?
The best thing? Meeting the fans. The worst thing? Getting rid of their corpses.

What’s the most embarrassing thing you’ve done while drunk?
Hooking up with Katherine Heigl.

What do people say to you when they recognize you in the street?
“Hey, Chucky, what ever happened to Katherine Heigl?”

ROUND 2: Bloody Mary

Jeff Minton for EW

As you don’t have a birth certificate, are you ever worried about being deported?
Not really. It would give me a chance to experiment. I’ve always wanted to kill on an international scale. I’m so famous here in the States. Sometimes I miss the anonymity, you know? The simple things, like being able to roll out of bed and kill someone on the way to Starbucks.

While we’re on that subject: How old are you exactly? (My editor made me ask.)
Let me put it this way… I take a baby aspirin every day. Gotta stay smart about heart health, you know?

Do you ever wish you were a different doll?
Sometimes I wish I was a Ken doll. Only because I wouldn’t have to wear these f—in’ overalls anymore.

Who would win in a fight between you and Annabelle?
Annabelle’s a showboat — all sizzle and no steak. She can make the lights flicker. Big deal.

How do you feel about the Babadook becoming a gay icon?
Hey, I did it before it was cool.

How come we never see you and Brad Dourif in the same room?
Contractual reasons. We don’t get along.

What’s the first thing you would do as president?
I would encourage the Senate to bring me a plan to boost infrastructure over the next 10 years that would result in government-subsidized training, job growth, and bipartisan support. I’d also make murder legal.

ROUND 3: “Fireball and a knife”

(This turns out to be a request for Fireball whisky and an actual knife, which Chucky uses to fatally stab EW’s photographer.)

Jeff Minton for EW

Uh, I guess you’re ready for this interview to be over. Just a few more questions before the police arrive: What’s the first thing you do when you get up in the morning?
Scrub the blood from my fingernails. Start the day fresh, you know?

Have you ever met Chuckie from Rugrats?
No. I don’t hang out with babies as a rule. And cartoon babies? Forget it.

Which celebrity do you most want to meet? And why?
The Biebs. So I can finally put an end to our long national nightmare.

How come you’ve never been a pitchman for Chuck E. Cheese’s?
Because those animatronics freak me the f— out.

Whose posters did you have on your wall when you were growing up?
Bundy, Dahmer, the Coreys. You know, all the greats.

Do you ever worry that you’re giving ginger-haired people a bad name?
Do you ever worry that you’re giving journalists a bad name?

How are things between yourself and your girlfriend Tiffany these days?
None of your damn business. We’re just good friends. Next question.

What’s your favorite sexual position?
The Reverse Chucky. It’s my own design. The Dirty Puppet is a close second.

What are you packing “downstairs”?
I guarantee you there’s no problem. I guarantee.

Which superhero do you most identify with, and why?
Loki. Take a f—ing guess.

Editor’s note: Senior writer Clark Collis disappeared two days after filing this interview.

Jeff Minton for EW

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