About Your Privacy on this Site
Welcome! To bring you the best content on our sites and applications, Meredith partners with third party advertisers to serve digital ads, including personalized digital ads. Those advertisers use tracking technologies to collect information about your activity on our sites and applications and across the Internet and your other apps and devices.
You always have the choice to experience our sites without personalized advertising based on your web browsing activity by visiting the DAA’s Consumer Choice page, the NAI's website, and/or the EU online choices page, from each of your browsers or devices. To avoid personalized advertising based on your mobile app activity, you can install the DAA’s AppChoices app here. You can find much more information about your privacy choices in our privacy policy. Even if you choose not to have your activity tracked by third parties for advertising services, you will still see non-personalized ads on our sites and applications. By clicking continue below and using our sites or applications, you agree that we and our third party advertisers can:
  • transfer your data to the United States or other countries; and
  • process and share your data so that we and third parties may serve you with personalized ads, subject to your choices as described above and in our privacy policy.
Entertainment Weekly


Here's what Mario's nipples look like, I guess


Posted on

Have you ever wondered what body has been lurking beneath Mario’s crimson turtleneck and workman’s overalls? Have you found yourself contemplating whether Mario, arguably the most athletic person in the history of humanity, has a six-pack? Have you just wanted to catch a glimpse at whatever picturesque pecs must keep Peach (and let’s be honest, Toad) up at night?

The answer should be no — but if for some ungodly reason it was yes, then congratulations. Thanks to the new Nintendo Switch game Super Mario Odyssey, 2017 is the year you finally get your wish of seeing the one-time plumber without a shirt in fully rendered graphic glory.

This, friends, is what Mario’s nipples look like.

Here he is photographed at the ostensible Sandals of the Mushroom Kingdom, a beach town called Bubblaine. (To show versatility, he’s also seen in a conservative head-to-toe snowsuit, so as to appeal beyond the coastal elites.)

As you go through the nine levels of emotion that arise from seeing this shirtless Mario, it’s natural to ask yourself some questions: Why am I looking at this? Why do I want to look at this? Do I want to look at this? Are these nipples what I expected to see? If not, what was I expecting to see? Shouldn’t he be hairier? Isn’t he European? Has he always had five toes? Why isn’t he a little fitter? Shouldn’t his chest be more defined? Doesn’t Mario exercise significantly more than the average person? Wait, am I being too hard on Mario? I mean, he’s still in pretty good shape, right? He’s not Wario. He’s no Luigi, but no, no one’s Luigi. I’m happy for Mario. Yeah, I’m happy for him. He deserves to comfortably show his body at this stage in his life without judgment. Honestly, good for Mario. I wish we could all be so bold. I should pick up tennis again. Yeah, I’m going to pick up tennis again.

Anyway, that’s what Mario’s nipples look like. It’s been a weird year. Tell your friends.