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This former state-champion equestrian rider claims she's not like any Survivor contestant you've ever seen because ''I haven't seen any country girls who have a strong redneck side that are strong competitors.'' (Right now, Twila is all like, ''Oh no you didn't!'')
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San Francisco, Calif.
Time to lawyer up! And at least we don't have to worry about this attorney pulling a NaOnka/Purple Kelly and quitting. ''I'll die out there before I quit. The only way I am leaving that island is with a tag on my toe or with a snuffed torch.'' Umm...what about, you know, winning?
3 of 18
Watch out, fellow Survivor: One World contestants! For there is one thing Kourtney will not stand for: ''I just have NO patience for hypocrisy and folks who regularly enjoy the smell of their own farts.'' Okay, I suppose that's two things, but there'll be no campside fart-smelling on Kourtney's watch!
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This gay Republican calls himself ''a mix of Queen Parvati, Corinne, and JT,'' which, frankly, sounds like the most confusing and horrifying mix of all time. But he's also a hardcore fan of the game. ''I live my life as if I'm playing Survivor! I have a strategy for everything. Hell, the way I got my boyfriend was a strategy.'' Did the boyfriend come with $1 million?
5 of 18
There are two reasons to like Kat. For one, she considers Xena the Warrior Princess to be her alter ego, so there remains the possibility that she will construct a bamboo sword and attempt to behead her fellow castmates. And for another, one of her pet peeves is small children on leashes — although it is unclear if she is referring to Boston Rob's tribe on Survivor: Redemption Island with that comment.
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Why would someone who counts bad breath as one of his pet peeves sign up for Survivor? Beats me, but we'll see how things are going for Jay a few days in on that count. The professional model says he likes Colby and Rupert, but then criticizes their ability to perform in physical challenges, unwittingly unleashing a torrent of ''Rupert Roars'' wherever a certain former contestant is reading this.
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Special Ed Teacher
Alica loves ''singing, running, and spending money.'' And her hatred of farting means she might want to consider an anti-gas-passing alliance with Kourtney. As for the Survivor contestant she's most like? ''Jenna Morasca from season 1 because she was the underdog.'' Let's all hear it for Jenna Morasca from season 1, everybody! (Sorry, Mr. Hatch. Please hand over $1 million plus all unpaid taxes to Jenna ASAP.)
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Troy ''Troyzan'' Robertson
As a Sports Illustrated swimsuit photographer, Troyzan is certainly used to hanging out on beaches with beautiful women. In fact, ''I believe 100 percent that Survivor was created for me,'' he says. ''I've been waiting ten years and nothing will stop me!'' Not even a goofy nickname.
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West Hollywood, Calif.
She counts Kristina and Francesca from Redemption Island as the former players she is most like, and I'm down with that. Unfortunately, her personal claim to fame is winning fifth place at a Honda Fit Advertising Campaign challenge. Hopefully she sets her bar for success a little higher here.
10 of 18
San Diego, Calif.
Survivor's first little person contestant once got to work with Billy Barty and Mickey Rooney on the same day! Now he'll be hanging out by the fire with a dude who calls himself ''Troyzan.'' (A bit of a come down, I suppose.) But while Leif may be short in stature, he is big in personality, and considers Fabio to be the former contestant he's most like because ''his wit and skills were misjudged and underestimated, but he outplayed them all in the end.''
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Ex-NFL Player's Wife
Monica is the wife of former NFL defensive tackle Brad Culpepper and she would love to tell you all about him and his many accomplishments! Of course, she has many accomplishments as well (homecoming queen, for instance) and she'd be more than happy to list those for you too! ''I can get along with all kinds of people,'' says Monica. We'll see.
12 of 18
Here's another guy who hates bad breath! (Again: wrong show, buddy.) Michael considers himself most like Ethan and Rupert and says, ''I am very much a people person and with all the backstabbing that goes on with Survivor, I don't see it happening to me.'' They never do.
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High School Teacher
Sabrina describes herself as a ''supreme persuader'' and has no tolerance for ''guys that constantly adjust their genitals.'' And really, I think I'll just stop this entry right here.
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I should be using this space to tell you all about Greg, but I just can't get over how high his pants are pulled up in that photo above. Seriously, drop it down a few inches! Greg also considers Tarzan his inspiration in life. Dude, that's Troyzan's shtick! Don't swipe his hype! Plus, you look more like Lapidus from Lost anyway.
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Retired LAPD Officer
Nina hates whining, being called a girl, and rude drivers. Well, at least she won't have to worry about one of those things out on the island. The former cop says she's most like Stephenie LaGrossa and Sue Hawk when it comes to former contestants and wants to prove that a woman in her 50s can compete. But can she win?
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This stand-up comedian says he hates clichés...which means I now have to delete everything else I had written about him getting caught between a rock and a hard place out there and misery loving company. Oh, well.
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Bridal Shop Owner
San Antonio, Texas
Kim claims she can figure out what animal a person would be within five minutes of meeting them. Personally, that sounds like some Coach type mumbo-jumbo but whatevs. Kimberly also says that she absolutely despises corny humor so I can just imagine how she feels about this gallery.
18 of 18
Well, here's someone who knows how to handle raw fish. As a sushi chef, Jonas will have to hope his food preparation skills will help him advance. And as someone who has gone through bankruptcy, he no doubt appreciates what a big million-dollar check can do.