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Tensions have always run high between Ron-Ron and The Situation. At times, Mike seemed to be purposefully working to destroy Ronnie and Sammi's relationship. (Though it should be noted that Sitch actually comforted both Sammi and Ronnie during stressful periods, thus confirming his status as Jersey Shore's morally ambiguous anti-hero.) But the two finally came to blows in Florence in room-wrecking skirmish that apparently landed someone in the hospital. (Don?t worry: Italy has universal healthcare!)
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What Ever Happened to Just Shaking Hands?
Deena was feeling a little nervous. The newest addition to the Shore house, she badly wanted to make a good impression on her housemates. She had a little bit to drink, just to settle her nerves. (Then she had a lot more to drink, because hey, it's always 5 o' clock somewhere!) Before long, Deena was trying to show Mike her special cowboy-hat dance...but thanks to a little wardrobe malfunction, she ended up revealing a little bit more than she meant to. But at least she wasn't nervous!
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J-Woww and Sammi: This Time, It's Personal
Jenni and Sammi are like the mongoose and the cobra. They don't just hate each other — they hate everything they both stand for. At the start of season 3, Jenni was doing her best to keep the peace...until Sammi started insulting Snooki and Deena. Jenni found the closest phone booth and became J-Woww, Fury-Fisted Defender of Justice. The ensuing fight got the third season off to an explosive start.
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Snooki Gets Arrested
Kids: This is why you shouldn't party all night, drink beer at work, leave work, take shots with random people at local bars, run out to the beach screaming, crawl like a wounded turtle all over the sand, and then insult the policemen who are gently trying to persuade you to get off the beach. Listen to your parents. Stay in school.
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When You Gotta Go, You Gotta Go
J-Woww and Snooki were having fun in the abandoned upstairs room at Karma. But uh-oh, J-Woww needed to go to the bathroom, and the closest one was so many stairs away. Solution: An on-camera visit to the empty bar. Public urination has never been so charming. J-Woww would later do the same thing behind a truck. Maybe it's a real problem?
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Sam and Ron Finally, Finally, Finally Break Up
Ronnie and Sammi began season 3 as a united front against the rest of the housemates, refusing to hang out with any of their former friends. But soon, cracks began to form in their union. Then the fighting began. For half the season, we (and the Shore cast) had to suffer through their relentless arguing. Then something snapped in Ronnie, and he destroyed all of Sam's things. Scared and exhausted, Sammi departed, leaving a tearful Ronnie bemoaning his new loneliness. It was, at last, The End. (Note: Ronnie and Sammi later got back together again. But then maybe broke up again. Stay tuned!)
7 of 25
Snooki Gets Punched
Snooki has become the house mom/gleeful mascot/overcaffeinated little sister of the Jersey Shore house, so it's interesting to remember that, in the first few episodes, the other housemates didn't like her very much. That changed after Snooki was punched by a guy at a bar. Although the punch itself was ultimately cut out of the episode, the fallout from the scuffle brought everyone together behind their fallen housemate.
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Angelina Refuses to Work, Gets Fired
Boo, work! Angelina refused to suffer through the long, brutal hours at the T-shirt shop. She staged a sleep-in. The boss showed up, begging her to come to work. ''I would prefer not to,'' she said, channeling Herman Melville's Bartleby the Scrivener. ''You're fired!'' said the boss, channeling every boss Angelina has ever worked for. Also, Angelina wanted to leave the house anyways, because of her boyfriend or something. (Don't worry, kids...she'll be back.)
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Snooki and The Situation Make Out in the Hot Tub
From the moment we first met Snooki and Sitch, we knew they were bound to share some sort of awkward, sloppy, resolutely unerotic make-out sesh. It had to happen. Viewers demanded it. Democracy demanded it. Gravity demanded it. And it happened. And it was terrifying.
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Ronnie Gets Arrested
Ronnie is a complex figure. On one hand, he is built like a panzer tank and shaped like the Incredible Hulk. On the other hand, he constantly picks fights with random people at bars. Actually, that's not very complex. But it was still a shocker when Ron got carted off to jail in the penultimate episode of season 1.
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Ronnie and Sammi's Reunion Breakup
The Julissa Bermudez-hosted Shore after-shows and reunions are usually awkward snoozefests, but things heated up at the season 1 reunion when producers played some unseen footage in which Sam seems to vaguely flirt with the Situation. Ronnie became furious, exclaiming to the Julissa-bot, ''I cut girls quicker than barbers do!'' (Which makes no sense, since girl haircuts take forever.) A fight broke out between the pair, setting the stage for their breakup and a second season full of glorious dysfunctionality.
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Snooki and J-Woww Detoxify the Community Smush Room
Snooki and J-Woww donned Outbreak attire and attempted in vain to clean the hookup room. We presume that once this season is over, the Community Smush Room will be declared a radioactive landfill.
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''I'll Go Sleep With My Girl Now.''
Although it would be wrong to call anything about Jersey Shore cute, Sammi and Ronnie's relationship added a note of relatively quiet relative monogamy — and true love — to season 1. That all went out the window in season 2, as the newly single Ronnie went out to the clubs, made out with half of Miami, and then slyly returned home to Sammi's bedroom.
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Sitch brought a lady from ''Canadia'' back to the house. Suffice it to say that she was not quiet when in the throes of passion, as the housemates discovered while listening outside the door and eating Nutella.
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Snooki Fights Angelina
Fed up with all the fake people in her life, Angelina delivered a farewell speech to the house. Her words angered Snooki, who demurely removed her earrings and then demurely tackled Angelina. Greco-Roman wrestling ensued.
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Snooki and J-Woww Rescue, Then Murder, a Lobster
Snooki and J-Woww freed a lobster from the vile clutches of Chef Situation. They wanted to keep it as a pet. They named it Charlie. Unfortunately, Snooki and J-Woww collectively have the marine-biology acumen of a fifth grader, so their first act was to submerge Charlie in a bowl of tap water. Death followed.
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The boys were enjoying an evening in the hot tub with some local gals. But then they found some mysterious skin-colored breast stuffing floating in the water. Where could that have come from? (One of the ladies sat silently and looked extremely bashful.) The boys started playing an impromptu game of catch. Advice to all women: Never, ever, ever appear on Jersey Shore.
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Angelina Leaves... Again
Angelina lasted only three episodes in season 1. In season 2, we got to witness a full 10-episode descent into infamy, as the entire house slowly turned against her. Then she was gone again. But don't fret, viewers. You have to remind yourself that some birds aren't meant to be caged. Their feathers are just too bright.
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Ronnie Gets Incredibly Drunk, Accidentally Fixes Relationship
Alcohol: the cause of and solution to all life's problems. Sammi was finished with Ronnie, tired of his cheating ways. But then Ronnie came back from the club more drunk than anyone has ever been. He was absolutely legless. Sammi took care of him. They've been a functional (albeit awful) couple ever since.
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Everyone Has Smushed Everyone
Snooki and J-Woww set out to create a complete map of the intrahouse hookups. Results: Every housemate has basically hooked up with every other housemate. Or, as J-Woww put it, ''Spit's been crossed.''
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Sammi Confronts J-Woww About the Telltale Letter
I think it was Saint Bernard of Clairvaux who said, ''The road to hell is paved with good intentions.'' Saint Bernie: You ain't kidding. When J-Woww co-wrote an anonymous letter to Sammi revealing Ronnie's infidelities, she probably wasn't expecting to end up in a hair-pulling catfight with her. (Ronnie remains unpunished, unless you consider dating Sammi a punishment.)
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The Situation Learns an Unwelcome Lesson About Menstruation
During a house cleanup, the Situation found one of Angelina's used maxi pads on the floor of the bathroom. Disgusted and appalled, Sitch did the mature thing and put the maxi pad under her pillow.
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Vinny Hooks Up With Snooki and Angelina
Life is chaos, so nobody was really too surprised that Snooki — after discovering that his bed was incredibly comfortable — got together with Vinny. The real surprise came later, when mortal enemies Angelina and Vinny spent the night together.
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The Situation Eats While Pauly Smushes
Rejected by the girl he took home from the club, the Situation made himself an egg sandwich. Yum! Then he settled in to watch Pauly's smush session. Vom! Then he offered Pauly a bite of the egg sandwich. Brilliant!
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J-Woww Wears This and Calls It a Dress