1 of 20
Brett Loewenstern: ''The Fool on the Hill''
The self-proclaimed oddball with his head in a cloud of curls could undoubtedly pull off a song about a wise soul who knows better. He never listens to those high school bullies. He knows that they're the fools. They don't like him....
NOTE: Fox's promos for Wednesday's Las Vegas round indicate that the contestants will perform in pairs or groups — but here are some sacred Beatles tunes I would have picked for 20 of the remaining hopefuls to (hopefully not) massacre.
2 of 20
Lauren Alaina: ''Ticket to Ride''
She's got one, issued by Nigel Lythgoe himself. My baby don't care if you think he's playing favorites.
3 of 20
Scotty McCreery: ''Help''
He needs it. And he can always just improvise the lyrics when he suddenly ''forgets'' them. When I was younger, not much younger than today / I never needed to learn more than one song, no, no way....
4 of 20
Casey Abrams: ''Blackbird''/''Piggies''
I'm sure one of the 700 instruments he plays could make some pretty sweet animal sounds, and if there's one thing American Idol loves, it's social satire!
5 of 20
Jacob Lusk: ''I Am the Walrus''
If any contestant can do justice to one of the Beatles' most bizarre tunes (and my No. 1 go-to karaoke choice), it's Lusk, who enjoys mangling words and switching voices entirely. Only a loon could pull this off. Ho ho ho, hee hee hee HA HA HA!
6 of 20
Ashley Sullivan: ''Maxwell's Silver Hammer''
I'm not saying ''emotional time bomb Ashley Sullivan'' is a serial killer; I'm just saying this would be fun. Doo-doo, doo-doo-doo....
7 of 20
Robbie Rosen: ''Because''
The 16-year-old originally auditioned with ''Yesterday,'' so he shouldn't be afraid to take on the eerie, vocal-heavy ''Because'' with some backup singers and his trusty piano.
8 of 20
Molly DeWolf Swenson: ''Taxman''
I'd like to hear a nice 'n' throaty political ditty from the girl who's working for no one but Obama.
9 of 20
John Wayne Schulz: ''I Want to Hold Your Hand''
Putting a country spin on the Beatles' best-selling single would be easy enough; plus, all the women in the theater would pass out from a wish fulfillment overdose. What could be better?
10 of 20
James Durbin: ''Fixing a Hole''
There's a hole in James' bucket, and if he patches it up, he can afford to provide water and diapers for his son. The Lambert-esque wailer would have a ball improvising on the ''Hey, hey! Heyyyyy'' portion of the Sgt. Pepper's classic. Careful, though, James. In Idol, it really does matter — when you're wrong, you're sometimes just wrong.
11 of 20
Ashton Jones: ''She Came In Through the Bathroom Window''
Since we didn't see Ashton (who may or may not have worked at 15 clubs a day) in the audition episodes, it's like she just suddenly showed up (in our...bathrooms?). Wednesday's on the phone to Thursday, whispering ''She's in.'' Oh, yeah.
12 of 20
Clint Jun Gamboa: ''Lucy in the Sky With Diamonds''
The boy with kaleidoscope eyes would power through this trippy dreamscape with way too much gusto. It'd be a total disaster, but great TV. What do we care? He's the season 10 bully!
13 of 20
Jacee Badeaux: ''Mean Mr. Mustard''
The 15-year-old cherub could nudge the key up a few notches — and sing directly to Clint Jun Gamboa, of course.
14 of 20
Carson Higgins: ''Revolution No. 9''
Can you imagine? This guy is so wacky!!!
15 of 20
Haley Reinhart: ''I Want You (She's So Heavy)''
Watching her attempt to hit the low notes might be so bad, it'd drive us mad — but she asked for it with her exceedingly guttural performance of ''God Bless the Child'' during Hollywood Week's solo day.
16 of 20
Hollie Cavanaugh: ''Penny Lane''
The British-born teen probably misses fish and finger pies, men in macs, and the Queen, so this would be a good chance for her to reclaim her heritage. Yep, I'm reaching here!
17 of 20
Thia Megia: ''Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band''
She already dresses like their long-lost, possibly homeless member.
18 of 20
Naima Adedapo: ''A Hard Day's Night''
According to Fox's promo, Casey Abrams and Chris Medina sing this Wednesday night, but the hard-labor theme would not be lost on the modelesque Nigerian who works long hours doing grounds cleanup.
19 of 20
Chris Medina: ''Here, There and Everywhere''
''While My Guitar Gently Weeps'' and ''Julia'' are too obvious, while ''Cry Baby Cry'' is too directive to viewers. Best to go with ''Here, There and Everywhere,'' a sweet love song with the potential to seriously wreck all of us forever, should we happen to pay attention to how the lyrics take on new meaning for a man who acts as caregiver to his brain-damaged fiancée, Juliana. Read 'em and weep. (I know, I know, I'm as bad as the producers.)
20 of 20
Paul McDonald: ''Nowhere Man''
Self-explanatory. More screen time for this
dreamboat dreamy yellow submarine, please.