1 of 12
12. Cheryl Burke and Jack Osbourne
Oof, so awkward. Are these separate photos? Is he her dad? Put your back into it, my friend.
2 of 12
11. Bill Engvall and Emma Slater
The stand-up comic will need to sit down soon if this is his best move. New pro/former Troupe dancer Emma seems freaked.
3 of 12
10. Valerie Harper and Tristan MacManus
The former Broadway dancer (The Mary Tyler Moore Show, Rhoda), whose brain cancer is close to remission, will soon come to terms with reality: There's no t-shirts in ballroom!
4 of 12
9. Christina Millian and Mark Ballas
Eyes off her mirrorballs, sir! The color is all wrong.
5 of 12
8. Elizabeth Berkley and Val Chmerkovskiy
I was hoping for something sultrier from the seasoned Showgirl, but I get it. They're playing it cool. Soon enough, they will pounce.
6 of 12
7. Bill Nye and new pro Tyne Stecklein
He'll need to get a better grip — but the leg symmetry is divine, and I commend him for ditching the lab coat.
7 of 12
6. Brant Daugherty and Peta Murgatroyd
Who? What? Cute. A willingness to wear hot pink right out of the gate could take the actor (Pretty Little Liars, Army Wives) far.
8 of 12
5. Karina Smirnoff and Corbin Bleu
The most striking partner pose of the bunch. A Disney kid disguised as an old guy? What could go wrong?
9 of 12
4. Nicole 'Snooki' Polizzi and Sasha Farber
Hate to say it, but the Jersey Shore personality and recent mom (!) looks right in her element along with former Troupe member Sasha. Must be all the spray tan fumes.
10 of 12
3. Amber Riley and Derek Hough
Now that's what I call a subtle nod to the COVETED MIRRORBALL TROPHY! Plus, Derek has stolen Mark's signature spats. They clearly have an early edge.
11 of 12
2. Keyshawn Johnson and Sharna Burgess
So much possibility dwells in their near-touches — his hand to hers, her heel to his knee, their other hands to their synthetic woven materials. They could be poised for greatness.
12 of 12
1. Tony Dovolani and Leah Remini
These two look like they've been together forever. Can I go have dinner at their house (of flying swaggers and disco ball dreams)?