Seth Meyers took the stage at the 75th annual Golden Globes on Sunday night with the most delicate of high-wire tasks: Deliver humorous and entertaining awards show monologue amid the controversy engulfing Hollywood over sexual harassment and sexual misconduct.
Standing before a Beverly Hilton ballroom full of celebrities clad in black to protest the issue, the NBC late-night host let loose with a string of jokes about the scandal — slamming accused abusers Harvey Weinstein and Kevin Spacey in particular.
— “Good evening ladies and remaining gentlemen…”
— “It’s 2018. Marijuana is finally allowed and sexual harassment finally isn’t, it’s gonna be a good year!”
— “This was the year of big little lies and get out — and also television series Big Little Lies and the movie Get Out.”
— “There’s a new era underway and I can tell because it’s been years since a white man was this nervous in Hollywood.”
— “By the way, a special hello to hosts of other upcoming award shows [who are] watching me tonight like the first dog shot into outer space.”
— “For the male nominees here tonight this is the first time in three months it won’t be terrifying to hear your name read out loud. ‘Did you hear about Willem Dafoe?’ ‘Oh god no!’ ‘He was nominated.’ ‘Don’t do that!'”
— “A lot of people thought it would be more appropriate for a woman to host these awards and they may be right… but if it’s any consolation I’m a man with absolutely no power in Hollywood. I’m not even the most powerful Seth in the room tonight.” [The camera cuts to The Interview actor-writer Seth Rogen]. “Hey, remember when he was the guy making trouble with North Korea?”
— “They tried to get a woman to host this show, they really did. They said, ‘Hey, how’d you like to come and be judged by some of the most powerful people in Hollywood?’ And they said, ‘Hm, where is it?’ And they said, ‘It’s at a hotel.’ Long story short, I’m your host tonight.”
— “We’re here tonight courtesy of the Hollywood Foreign Press — a string of three words that could not be better designed to infuriate our president. Hollywood. Foreign. Press. The only name that could make his angrier is the Hillary Mexico Salad Association.”
— “Well, I think it’s time to address the elephant not in the room. Harvey Weinstein isn’t here tonight because, well, I’ve heard he’s crazy and difficult to work with. But don’t worry, he’ll be back in 20 years when he’s the first person ever booed during the in memoriam.” [The audience groans]. “It’ll sound like that.”
— “The show goes on. I was happy to hear they’re going to do another season of House of Cards. Is Christopher Plummer available for that too? I hope he can do a southern accent because Kevin Spacey sure couldn’t … Oh was that too mean? To Kevin Spacey?”
Meyers then did a bit with celebrities in the audience where he would deliver a joke’s setup and the star would deliver the punchline.
Meyers: “The Golden Globes turned 75 this year…”
Jessica Chastain: “…but the actress that plays its wife is still only 32.”
Meyers: “Call Me by Your Name is nominated for best motion picture. It’s a gay coming of age film.”
Billy Eichner: “Said Kevin Spacey: ‘You lost me at ‘of age.’ …. and you thought it was mean when I said he didn’t have a Southern accent.”
Meyers: “Insecure creator Issa Rae currently has three projects in development at HBO…”
Issa Rae: “That’s right, and ‘three projects’ is also where they think I’m from.”
Meyers: “According to a recent article only 5 percent of speaking roles in Hollywood are played by Asian actors…”
Hong Chau: “… but those numbers might be off since a white person did the math.”
For photos of actors and actresses arriving on the red carpet, see our Golden Globes 2018 gallery.
And see the complete list of Golden Globes winners here.