Nathan Lane didn’t hide his feelings toward Donald Trump when visiting The Tonight Show, or as he likes to call the Republican presidential nominee, “a bloated piece of candy corn” who yelled at Hillary Clinton, “a sick woman with lipstick on her teeth.”
The actor visited Jimmy Fallon Friday, discussing Monday’s first presidential debate. He kicked things off with an uncontrollable fit of sniffles, saying he caught “whatever Donald Trump had during the debate.” With 84 million viewers tuning in for the first of three planned presidential debates, the Producers star pointed out it was the second-highest rated TV program, passing the Seinfeld finale, “which is fitting since both shows were about nothing.”
While Trump immediately blamed a faulty microphone for the audio problem and not incessant sniffling, Lane used the complaint to criticize the candidate’s view of social groups. “He finally ran out of ethnic groups to blame and went on to inanimate objects,” joked Lane.
In a possible future world where Trump wins the election, Lane continued his faux stand-up routine explaining what the first few weeks with him in office would look like. “The first thing he’ll have to do is change his mail order bride address, then of course I can see he’ll pick a Supreme Court nominee based on a swimsuit competition. The second week he’ll put his head on Mount Rushmore and his face on the million dollar bill,” deadpanned Lane. “Then I see him hanging his shirtless portrait of Vladimir Putin over the mantle.”
The White House already had a chance to comment on that possibility when Vice President Joe Biden stopped by Fallon’s late-night talk show earlier this week to share his thoughts on Trump. “I’ve never known a candidate who knows as little about the world as this man does,” said Biden.
Watch all of Lane’s riffs below and catch The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon weeknights on NBC.