Fox via Getty Images
Marc Snetiker
August 03, 2016 AT 12:00 PM EDT

Mariah Carey and her purple velvet chaise made her Television Critic’s Association press tour debut on Wednesday in Beverly Hills. Escorted by seven shirtless dancers, Carey took the stage in front of critics and reporters to talk about her new E! reality show Mariah’s World, an eight-part docu-series debuting on E! this December.

It’s a damn shame you couldn’t be there, but here are some of the best things the hilarious songstress had to say.

“Define ‘delivered.’” —Mariah Carey, when asked whether, as was teased in the Mariah’s World trailer, she did in fact get puppies delivered to her hotel.

“We call it more of a docu-series because it feels like a documentary. There’s no way I was like, ‘Ooh, let’s do some kind of reality thing.’ I don’t even watch reality. I don’t even know what reality is. Literally. In terms of like, real or not real.” —Mariah Carey, describing why she doesn’t consider Mariah’s World to be a reality show.

“They could have their own show, because that’s how funny they are. It’s not because they’re my kids, but I just have to figure out, mutually, figure it out with Nick and whatever how much we want them in the show, because the truth is, they jump on the stage when they can. They’re an integral part of my life. I can’t help it… when we were in South Africa and we got onstage and my babies were dancing around, singing. They just turned 5, so… we’ll see. I think it should be sparingly used, unfortunately, but they should have their own show. If I were an agent and I discovered them, I feel like I’d be like, ‘These kids need to be on TV.’” —Mariah Carey, when asked how often her children will appear on the show.

“It was the most abusive experience. By the way, you’ve just driven me to drink.” —Mariah Carey, when asked what she learned on American Idol before picking up a glass of champagne.

“I don’t know that anybody really knows the real me, because if somebody sees me on TV or here or in an interview, it’s not enough time to get to know somebody. If you know somebody for 10 years, you kind of know the real them. I’m not sure how to even answer that appropriately except hopefully they’ll see other sides of me they either find entertaining or something good instead of bad.” —Mariah Carey, on the biggest misconception about her.

“Anybody else need a touch up? It’s very expensive.” —Mariah Carey, while receiving a touch-up from her hair and make-up artists onstage.

“I didn’t say that, darling. I said he came around. I don’t know what makes the final cut. Sorry, was that rude? I’m so not trying to slay anybody at all.” —Mariah Carey, when asked to confirm whether ex-husband Nick Cannon would appear on the show after mentioning “He was cool about being on the show and coming around with the kids.”

“There’s peaks and valleys.” —Mariah Carey, describing the lines she has drawn in terms of what footage to show and what to cut.

“I don’t throw shade. I don’t know why people think this. I really don’t. Do you legitimately think that I’m a shady person?” —Mariah Carey, asked whether she throws shade in the show.

“I love Scandal.” —Mariah Carey, on Scandal.

“I’m taking a different approach with this record because I’m not holding myself to the studio like, ‘I’m making this album top to bottom.’ People don’t really do that anymore. Right now I’m writing and recording and collaborating, and then we’ll see what the best of the best is.” —Mariah Carey, on her new album.

“It’s a secret because then everybody steals the concept. I’m serious, it just happened to me like two months ago. I don’t want to go into it because then I’m gonna be shady.” —Mariah Carey, on why she won’t reveal more details about the album.

And finally, this exchange:

Reporter: Is there a pop female artist that’s up and coming in the mainstream that you think is doing it right?

Carey: I mean, I don’t know… you’d have to define pop to me.

Reporter: Are there any female artists you think are just killing it in the music industry?

Carey: There’s a few.

Reporter: And they would be?

Carey: They would be lovely ladies, but it’s not their day.

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