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Patton Oswalt and Samantha Bee on crisis pregnancy centers

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TBS

Even in this early run of Full Frontal, Samantha Bee’s March segment about the backlog of untested rape kits has stood out. It even helped get important legislation passed. In that piece, Bee took particular issue with Georgia state senator Renee Unterman for killing legislation that would’ve required rape kits to be tested: “Woman, have you lost your f—ing mind?” On Monday’s episode, Bee’s nemesis emerged once again, this time as a promoter of “crisis pregnancy centers.” Unterman described these centers, which are meant to discourage pregnant woman from having abortions, as a response to the fraudulent “controversy” over Planned Parenthood, causing Bee to repeat her question about whether Unterman “lost your f—ing mind.”

“Much like Renee Unterman, crisis pregnancy centers may look sweet and helpful, but they’re really full of toxic bullsh–,” Bee said.

Bee enlisted comedian and Full Frontal superfan Patton Oswalt to expose “the con” of crisis pregnancy centers. Dressed like a magician, Oswalt described the centers as “a conception deception” and “a masterpiece of gynecological grift.” Oswalt’s theatrics took turns with a rather more serious interview with National Abortion Federation president and CEO Vicki Saporta, who explained how crisis pregnancy centers use similar logos and fonts as real abortion clinics in order to trick their prospective clients.

“They con women into thinking that they provide the full range of reproductive health services, when they absolutely do not,” Saporta said. “Most of these fake clinics do not have licensed medical staff. Women are often given false ultrasound results, to make it seem that they’re much farther along in their pregnancies than they are.”

Cherisse Scott, for one, explained that she ended up at a center partly because they had the largest ad in the yellow pages. At the center, she was fed false information about how getting an abortion would perforate her uterus and prevent her from having children, lies that ultimately caused Scott to avoid an abortion and keep her baby — at which point the center completely vanished from her life.

“They have disappeared without a trace. When it was difficult to get food stamps or when it was difficult to get his father on child support, they weren’t there,” Scott said. “My son deserved to have a situation where he didn’t have to worry about his mother struggling to make ends meet until I figured it out. He deserved to be able to come into a loving situation, not in a situation where I was confused because of a lie. I love my son, absolutely. But I’ll be very honest with you: If I could do this all over again, I would get an abortion.”

Then Oswalt reappeared to explain that these fake clinics actually get state funds, and couldn’t resist throwing in one of his trademark nerdy references.

“Crisis pregnancy centers hide behind the fig leaf of the First Amendment, which I guess gives them the right to trick scared teenagers into not seeing a doctor,” Oswalt said. “And no one’s stopping them. The government’s behind them! State governments give millions of dollars, your tax dollars, to these dickheads for ‘abstinence education’ even though they’re educators the same way Darth Vader was a good f—ing father.”

Watch the clip below.