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Justin Bieber's hentai anime Instagram has left us with a lot of questions

We have a lot of questions

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Jeff Kravitz/FilmMagic

Justin Bieber has a new hobby.

On Wednesday, the singer Instagrammed photographic evidence that he just might be into anime β€” and hentai, in particular. “I colored this,” Bieber, 22, proudly captioned a photo of a highly underdressed tribeswoman of some kind. “It’s dope,” Bieber explains, “Cuz I actually sat down for 30 min and finished I never can sit still for that long so it’s an accomplishment.”

 

If 30 minutes seems like a long time β€” it kind of is, but more on that later β€” Bieber asks that we judge not lest we be judged: “Yes this took me 30 minutes haha I know I suck. Don’t judge me.” There’s really nothing quite like a “haha” tacked onto a self-deprecating comment to deflect the haters.

While we would never dream of judging Bieber for his coloring skills, we must take a moment to bask in the pure insanity of his choice. 

Why?

No, really: Why? Keen-eyed observers will note that the image does not even pretend to be kid-friendly; in the top-left, the image is labeled “pinup girl.” 

What’s going on here?

The girl in the photo appears to have a total of three kneecaps. And why is she licking an ax? Is she fresh from battle, high on victory and adrenaline and simply raring to go? Will no one think of her victims? 

A really nice touch here, too, is the shadow cast by Bieber’s phone.

Where does this image come from, and where can I buy it? 

I devoted more research to tracking down this coloring book than I did to any paper I wrote in school. One Reddit user snapped a photo of the Biebs at Georgia Tech’s Barnes & Noble, flipping through coloring books on the day he proudly introduced the image to the world. 

The book he was looking at in the photo, however, was Johanna Basford’s Lost Ocean. Basford is perhaps chiefly responsible for the resurgence of “adult coloring books,” known for her intricate renderings of nature scenes. And not anime erotica. So, that was out. 

Though I didn’t expect a fruitful result, I even called the bookstore and spoke to the manager β€” a perfectly lovely woman named Michelle β€” and while she promised to call me back with more info, I think that she probably just wanted to end the conversation with the person trying to track down Bieber’s anime porn. A casual search on the Barnes & Noble website was not a help, either; none of the covers seemed to match the drawing style found in its NSFW pages. 

Judging by many Twitter searches, even Beliebers could not seem to track down the book, and I’m fairly confident that the FBI seeds recruits from Bieber’s devoted, eagle-eyed fan base. A bust, all around.

Is 30 minutes a long time?

As it turns out … kind of. In the name of journalism, science, and deadline procrastination, myself and two other EW staffers β€” Isabella Biedenharn and Ariana Bacle β€” printed out Bieber’s Instagram in black and white and got to work. 

Isabella completed her rendering (above, center) quicker than any of us, coming in at a formidable nine minutes and 12 seconds. I think we can all agree, however, that Ariana’s Na’vi-style work (left) and my anal-retentive, anime-style hair-shading (right) required some more time; we came in at 24 and 22 minutes, respectively. 

Will Bieber make this a habit?

In all β€” okay, most β€” seriousness, it’s great Bieber has found something that helps him focus for a whole 30 minutes straight. The singer has admitted that he gets “restless,” telling GQ that he takes Adderall, a stimulant prescribed to treat ADHD. 

But maybe Instagram is not the best showcase for anime erotica. Might we suggest the official Game of Thrones coloring book? Drogon’s scales alone will keep him busy throughout the rest of his Purpose tour. 

Also, we still want to know where we can buy that coloring book.