Michelle Rodriguez has revealed that her grief after costar Paul Walker’s 2013 death was fueled by more than just sadness over his absence.
In a clip posted on TMZ from from the new documentary The Reality of Truth, Rodriguez opened up about her feelings on Walker’s passing while she was allegedly under the influence of psychedelic drugs.
“When I lost Paul, I went through a year of just being like an animal, like, what could I do, physically, to just get my mind off of existentialism? Get my mind off of how transient life is and how we just come here and can disappear at any moment,” she said. “How could I get my mind off that?”
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The Furious 8 star explained that she went “crazy, nuts, berserk-o” the summer after her close friend’s death.
In The Reality of Truth, Rodriguez joined host Mike “Zappy” Zapolin in exploring “the relationship between spirituality, religion and psychedelics,” according to the film’s website. During a visit to Peru with Zapolin, Rodriguez says she used the Peruvian psychedelic plant ayahuasca which, she said, brought about “the destruction of everything I’ve ever known.”
“I did everything I could possibly do to hide from myself and I’ll tell you that my ayahuasca trip made me sad that he left me here,” she said. “It wasn’t a sadness that he’s gone, it’s more like a jealousy that he’s there first.”