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Henry Cavill, John Stamos, more read letters to younger selves for Seth Meyers

Or: In which Keri Russell warns her younger self about the dangers of cutting one’s hair

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NBC

As recent guests have stopped by Late Night, Seth Meyers has requested, unbeknownst to viewers, that they record messages to their younger selves. And on Wednesday’s show, Meyers unveiled the results, playing a compilation video of Keri Russell, John Stamos, Henry Cavill, and John Goodman giving these messages. Russell was up first, and many viewers probably weren’t surprised by her main piece of advice for her younger self.

“Whatever you do, don’t cut your hair short during the second season of Felicity,” Russell said. “No, I’m serious. People will freak the hell out. You’ll get hate mail, even death threats. Eventually your hair will grow back and your fans will forgive you but you will never, and I repeat never, forgive your fans.” 

Stamos’ advice illuminated one key secret about his seemingly eternal good looks.

“On your 18th birthday, the Prince of Darkness, Satan, will offer you eternal youth in exchange for your soul,” Stamos said. “Little John, I’m telling you right now: You take that deal, son.”

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Cavill told his younger self that his dreams of playing a superhero will come true … just not in the way he was expecting.

“When you turn my age, your biggest dream will come true: you finally get to be in a Batman movie,” Cavill said. “You know how you have all those Batman posters in your room and how you run around pretending to be Batman? Well, little Henry, this movie has it all: the Batsuit, the cool gadgets. As for your part in the film, I think it’s better we wait until you’re old enough to handle it.”

Goodman’s was a little stranger and darker, as befitting his recent monstrous turn in 10 Cloverfield Lane. 

“When you’re out playing by the creek with Jimmy and the boys, they’re gonna dare you to throw a rock at a duck, and you will,” Goodman said. “And you’ll hit that duck square in the eye. Your friends laugh, but you feel terrible, and it won’t end there. Because everywhere you go for the rest of your life, that duck will follow you, looking at you with his one good eye, pointing at you as if to say, ‘You did this to me.’ So when you’re there at the creek, with the rock in your hand and the duck in your sights, make sure you kill it.”

Watch the full clip below.