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'The Bronze': EW review

Posted on

Tiffany Laufer

The Bronze

type:
Movie
Current Status:
In Season
mpaa:
R
runtime:
100 minutes
Wide Release Date:
03/18/16
performer:
Melissa Rauch, Gary Cole, Haley Lu Richardson
director:
Bryan Buckley
genre:
Comedy, Drama

We gave it a B

Once upon a time, Hope Ann Gregory (The Big Bang Theory’s Melissa Rauch) brought triumph and glory to Team USA with a Hail Mary win at the World Gymnastic Championships, fighting through a foot injury to take the bronze while millions watched. Twelve years later, she’s still the pride of Amherst, Ohio: The local diner has a star-spangled parking spot with her name on it, and mall employees know to always comp her sneakers and Sbarro slices. She’s also a tiny tracksuited Mussolini who snorts crushed-up Claritin before breakfast, bullies her weed dealer, and berates her long-suffering dad (Gary Cole) for asking her not to steal petty cash from his postal route. The sudden death of her old coach, though, brings an opportunity: $500,000 to train another gymnast (a sunny-sweet Haley Lu Richardson) all the way to Worlds. With her scrunchied ponytail and crisp parabola of bangs, Rauch (who also cowrote the script) looks like a young Tonya Harding and talks like Triumph the Insult Comic Dog filtered through a flat Midwestern twang. The plot is beyond basic and the dialogue so crude it almost feels like an R-rated cartoon. Still, The Bronze has a loony Napoleon Dynamite–meets–Talladega Nights-on-the-balance-beam charm. Hope may be a giant jackass, but she’s America’s jackass. B