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It’s been nearly a week since Donald Trump infamously brought up his penis size at a nationally televised Republican presidential debate, but that didn’t stop Stephen Colbert from discussing it on his show on Monday night.
“I don’t care. This is what I do for a living, and there’s no way in hell I’m gonna let an entire election go by without talking about this,” Colbert said.
Colbert found the whole thing as funny as anyone. He joked about the GOP as “the party of the big tent” and wondered if the people really want to know the size of Trump’s “executive branch.” Colbert even imagined if something similar had happened during the Lincoln/Douglas debates, as if Abraham Lincoln said something like, “No American, whether from North or South, free or slave, has ever complained about the size of my Lincoln log. And yes, the beard matches the drapes.”
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According to Colbert, this penis-measuring contest represents a new low in American presidential debates. He even used a graphic to show how this debate is lower than the John Kerry Swift Boat controversy, Obama birtherism, John McCain’s non-existent illegitimate child, Hillary Clinton’s secret email servers, and, finally, lower than even the Founding Fathers spinning in their graves. The only thing worse would be “an onstage nut punch followed by closing statement delivered via one long burp,” but as Colbert noted, “it’s only March.”
Watch the clip above.