The Oscars are this Sunday, and Stephen Colbert is prepared. As he said on The Late Show Thursday night, Colbert likes to serve the leftover chili from his Super Bowl party, and the candy from his Valentine’s Day trick-or-treating. Colbert had other, slightly less disgusting Oscar party tips to share with his audience as well. The first?
“Don’t make the same mistakes the Academy did: be sure to have a diverse guest list,” Colbert said. “If all your friends are white, you are a racist. Fix that by Sunday.”
Colbert also gave some ideas for pre-written live tweets, so that his viewers could watch the show without having to worry about being glued to their phones the whole time. After all, as Colbert said, you kind of know some things that will probably happen. One prewrite example: “Spotted on red carpet: Cumberbatch in a cumberbund. That’s a double cumber. #CumberBlessed.”
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Before Colbert could get much further, Jon Batiste and the rest of his band began to play the host off, Oscar-style. Colbert hurried through the introductions for his show, and even threw in a reference to the kinds of Oscar speeches that get played off.
“They told me not to get political,” Colbert said, “but it’s time to allow snowglobes on airplanes!”
Watch the full clip below.