Stephen Colbert celebrated the end of 2015 with a bit of New Year’s Eve performance art.
Over the course of several tweets, the Late Show host imagined an alternate universe where Stephen Colbert’s Boppin’ New Year’s Eve was the go-to television event of the night.
“I’ll be live-tweeting my fabulous NYE party just as soon as I get there,” Colbert wrote on Twitter just after 8 p.m. on the East Coast.
But over the next four hours, Colbert tweeted about the terrible traffic he was stuck in on the way to the show.
“Man, traffic is seriously backed up. Hey folks, sorry, but this live-tweet will pick up steam once I get to the party, promise,” Colbert wrote at 10:14 p.m. ET.
“If this breaks up in the next 15 minutes, I’ll still make Paul McCartney, & I’ll still be in time to see the ball to drop,” he added at 11:19 p.m. ET.
Unfortunately, the delays never ceased, and Colbert missed the festivities.
“Well, it’s 12 o’clock. Happy New Year, everyone. Yeah, excellent start to the year. Fantastic,” Colbert wrote as the clock struck midnight on the East Coast.
Read Colbert’s live-tweet extravaganza below, and be thankful your New Year’s Eve wasn’t spent sitting in traffic.