Ariana Bacle
October 26, 2015 AT 04:34 PM EDT

Ellen DeGeneres is open about being gay — but there was a time when she didn’t think she would ever be.

In a clip from Sunday’s episode of Oprah’s Master ClassDeGeneres reveals that she “didn’t think [she] was going to come out, period” a one point. It wasn’t until she went to a meditation retreat at California’s Esalen Institute that she realized she didn’t want to hide anymore.

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“It was scary and crazy and what came out of listening to what I had been saying to myself is, ‘Would I still be famous? Would they still love me if they knew I was gay?’ ” she says in the clip, recounting her time at Esalen. “And my fear was, no, they wouldn’t. Then it made me feel shame that I was hiding something … I just didn’t want to pretend to be somebody else anymore so that people would like me.”

See the full clip above, and watch Oprah’s Master Class when it airs Sundays at 8 p.m. ET on OWN. 

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