Empire has officially returned for season 2, and Gabourey Sidibe – a.k.a. the ever outspoken Becky – will be blogging all of the drama week to week for EW. Read on for the actress’ latest entry as she blogs Wednesday’s episode, “Be True.” Like what you see? Send feedback to us at @EW and to Gabourey at @GabbySidibe.
If you missed Empire, I’m not mad at you. Just disappointed. And mad. Here’s what you missed.
ALL charges have been dropped against Lucious because the D.A.’s star witness, Vernon, has “killed himself.” Lol really?! Praise be to … Satan I guess? You KNOW God had nothing to do with that! Lucious is guilty. Still, Satan seems wrong to say. Praise be to Andre and Rhonda for killing Vernon so that he can’t testify against Lucious! Hmm. Still feels wrong … WHATEVER! Lucious is back at home in the Empire offices and so is Andre. And so is Thirsty! Looks like he’s here to stay for a while. Lucious welcomes Andre, not only back to Empire, but he welcomes him to being the President of the new Gutter Life label under the Empire umbrella! How does he welcome him? With a stripper party!!! Seriously! This is a place of business and there’s strippers, champagne, a DJ, and that fine ass Becky! Fancy! But Andre looks uncomfortable. He clearly has a crush on Becky.
Over at the Lyon Dynasty, Tiana is at a photo shoot with Cookie when Hakeem walks in with Laura, his latest pretty, singing Latina! She seems pretty meek next to Tiana. Cookie and Hakeem discuss whether or not Vernon really killed himself. Lol! Really?!
Back over at the Empire recording studios, Jamal is in the booth laying some tracks while Lucious and Ne-Yo (yes NE-YO!) give him some pointers! Michael comes in and we learn that Jamal and Ne-Yo are going on tour together! We also learn that Michael is going on tour, too! Lucious disapproves. LuLu, you just beat a case that you most certainly are guilty for. Maybe you need to lay low and mind your business for a while.
Meanwhile, Andre goes to see his pastor after the stripper party. Andre says he wants to protect his family by being baptized. The pastor tells him to confess all of his sins to his family and then invite them to church for his baptism. The Lyons in church? I don’t know, man.
Back over on the rough side of town at the Lyon Dynasty, Tiana is about to leave when two fans ask her for a selfie! But then one of them spits a razor out of her mouth and they steal Tiana’s purse! Do you see how dangerous it is to take selfies?! Soon after, Chicken sees that the goons who stole her purse have made a video saying that they won’t stop unless Cookie and Lyon Dynasty pays them. Extortion! Extortion most foul!
You guys! Artistic Weirdo is back! He’s showing Jamal and Michael all of the fan interpretations of his portrait over bottles of champagne! As it turns out, he also disapproves of Michael going on tour with Jamal. Shut up, Artistic Weirdo! Stay outta grown folks’ business! Artistic Weirdo and Jamal go to the bathroom or something together and Jamal seems a tad bit drunk when Artistic Weirdo attempts to give him a blow job!! Gasp!!! Jamal doesn’t take it and let’s him know that he is very much so not attracted to Artist Weirdo and that even if he was, he’d never do that to Michael! Michael walks in just in time to see Jamal walk away from Artistic Weirdo on his knees, yelling, “A mouth is a mouth!” You guys! I think I just found the perfect phrase to tattoo on my lower back!
Over yonder at Lyon Dynasty, Cookie is having a meeting with a promoter, Laz Delgado. He is handsome and he’s giving out sound advice to fix her security problems. He’s handsome, too! Porsha comes in with a sad-looking security dog, begging for her job back after Cookie fired her for getting her arrested last week. Cookie takes her back along with her sad dog, but puts her on probation. Lastly, Laz is handsome!
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Cookie meets Lucious to claim Vernon’s very dead ashes. Cookie asks Lucious if he’s the one who set up Tiana’s purse snatching. He says he had nothing to do with it, but we can’t trust him, can we? No! We can’t! Stop trying to trust Lucious! Then they fight over who’s taking Vernon’s ashes. Nobody wants poor dead Vernon. :-( .
Back at Empire, Andre walks in on Thirsty making himself a cocktail in Lucious’ office. Andre ask why he’s there and Thirsty tells him that he’s replacing Vernon. Andre doesn’t take too kindly to that. Thirsty tries to get Andre to steal tracks from Lyon Dynasty. Andre REALLY doesn’t take kindly to that. He throws Thirsty out of the office and Thirsty lets Andre know that he won’t soon forget his participation in getting rid of Vernon … Thirsty remains my new fave.
Hakeem is having a super weird party at his apartment. He’s dancing with these girls, Laura included, when he tries to put the moves on her! You KNOW what moves! Laura lets him know that she’s not that kind of girl and leaves the party. She IS meek!
Across town at a better party, Jamal and Becky are a little drunk and discussing the tour with Ne-Yo when Jamal goes to look for Michael. He finds him on the balcony getting a b—job from … ARTISTIC WEIRDO! Damn it, Artistic Weirdo! I know a mouth is a mouth but come on! You’re a sexual predator! Heart broken, Jamal throws Artistic Weirdo Sexual Predator up against a wall and then out of his house. That fine ass Becky is waiting on him at the door, ready to whoop that ass some more. BECKY IS A GOOD FRIEND! With her fine ass.
There’s a break-in over at the Lyon Dynasty offices! Luckily Cookie and Laz are both at the office and both are strapped!! Also, Sad Security dog is on the case, too! Turns out that Thirsty sent these goons to steal the Lyon Dynasty tracks since Andre wouldn’t do it. And the office has also been bugged! Cookie looks at Laz like she’s found the Clyde to her Bonnie. Laz remains handsome.
Andre and Hakeem go visit Jamal the morning after his rocking party. Andre confesses to them that he set the two of them up to start fighting, that he’s the one who had Jamal robbed at the studio last season. Andre apologizes profusely and asks them to come to his baptism. He says he wants to help heal this family. Hakeem says he’ll go and Jamal considers it. Andre’s next meeting is with Lucious. He confesses to him that he’s the one who convinced Cookie to blackmail Lucious when she first got out of jail. He also confesses his suicide attempt last year. Lucious seems unmoved and tells him that his baptism is a waste of time and that there is no God.
In his Sunday best, Hakeem is trailing Laura so that he can apologize to her. He feels bad for putting those moves on her. He swears he won’t again and that it’ll be all business. That’s sweet!
Andre is at church getting ready for his baptism! Cookie is there to make sure he looks good! Andre attempts to make a confession to her but she tells him to keep his mouth shut. That’s right, Andre. You keep your mouth shut about a lot of things! Jamal comes and sits with Cookie and Hakeem. Cookie asks how his career is going as she is more or less out of his life lately. He tells her that things are great and that Lucious is taking him to the next level. Cookie can’t even look at him. Ugh! I miss them being a team! Uh-oh! Here comes Lucious! Surprisingly LuLu walks into church without spontaneously combusting into flames. Andre is so glad to see him that he tells him he loves him. Lucious knows. Just as Andre begins the baptism, Lucious is reminded of a time when his mother, who suffered from a mental disorder, baptized him in a bathtub. The memory is violent and is too much for Lucious to bear. He immediately gets up and walks out of the church. Everyone is disappointed, yet no one is surprised. Poor Andre.
Later, on a sexy, shirtless run through the park, Hakeem is accosted by two thugs! They throw a blanket over him and throw him into a van! Good God! No!!!! Not the baby! Not the sexy, shirtless baby!!!!!!! Y’all, go down to the church and light a candle for Hakeem’s safe return!!