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Brooklyn Nine-Nine: The 9 best lines from The Oolong Slayer

It’s tea-time for Jake and Holt as they pursue a creepy killer

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John P. Fleenor/Fox

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

TV Show
Current Status:
In Season
run date:
Andy Samberg, Andre Braugher
Comedy, Crime

Bosses are the worst. And the worst can bring out the best in you. This week on Brooklyn Nine-Nine, we saw this in action — not to mention, Jake and Holt in action — as the Vulture continued his reign of dictatorial douchebaggery.

After he issued a demoralizing edict that the detectives should only tackle easy cases like misdemeanors so he could boost his numbers, Jake took it upon himself to go rogue and pursue a hunch about the resurfacing of the Oolong Slayer, that weirdo psycho who tea-bags his victims (literally, not in a sexual way) and sets up creepy dollscapes at the murder scenes. And although Wuntch continued to neuter Capt. Holt (figuratively, not in a sexual way) by loading him up with meaningless drivel, Holt took it upon himself to defy her orders, ditch his PR duties and do some real police work again with Jake. Soon enough, their bosses found out about their off-book investigation and told them to stop — suspended them, even — but Jake and the captain continued to try to catch a most dangerous predator. It felt good and adrenalizing to see Holt partner up again with the underling who causes him the most colorful headaches to take down the tea-topped killer and reclaim his power, especially on a more-serious-than-usual case. (The only thing missing was a Holt-is-refined/Jake-is-a-Neanderthal gag in which Holt explains why he prefers rooibos over chamomile while Jake weighs in with a Lipton-versus-Crystal Light analogy.) 

Over in B-plot land, Terry, who has been stressed out about his soon-to-be-expanding family, discovered the sweet joy of Charles’ cacao nibs and wound up expanding his own waistline (nice prosthetic makeup, BTW). Meanwhile, the Vulture misogynistically tasked Amy and Rosa with throwing him a party. (Was having the Vulture perform at his own event really a stroke of “evil genius,” though? Not really. And he deserved a much worse fate on his way out. But Amy will take a win where she is given one.)

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In the end, the Vulture’s rule of terror ended as abruptly as it began, as Jake cut a deal with the chief of detectives, which allowed the big boss to take credit for taking down the Oolong Slayer in exchange for putting Holt back where he belongs: in charge of the Nine-Nine. It happened a little sooner than expected — and a little too neatly as well. But there is no argument that Holt is back where we want him, trying to save Jake and Co. from themselves. So let us say: Justice has been served, order has been restored, and laughs have been had. Which means it’s time to pop a nib, marvel at the acoustics in here, heart some intrigue, raise a glass to Rihanna, and revisit the best lines from “The Oolong Slayer.”

NEXT: “You know what? Screw this”